Love Hina Crimes and MissDemeanors
by SlippyTheWeasel
Summary: What if Hinata-sou was an all-girl Reformatory i.e. a juvenile detention center with an open-door policy ? The girls aren't just there as students, but because the courts ordered it. Expect slightly stronger language from some of these delinquents!
1. Chapter 1

**Love Hina – Crimes and Miss-Demeanors**

**Fanfic**

**Chapter One – **

**Friday Morning**

_(I've finally made it to Tokyo U.! All that hard work and studying has paid off! No more slouching for me! I can hold my head up high and say 'I'm a Tokyo U. Student'. Everyone is congratulating me, yes, I know, thank you, thank you. What? Oh no, not you. Grannyyyyy! Nooooooooooo!)_

Keitaro sits up, sweat pouring down his face. He looks around, and sees he is still in his bedroom, which, of course, means "Oh, man, it was just a dream!"

Keitaro Urashima, a two-time ronin, a part-time bakery delivery boy, and a full-time klutz, slowly gets out of bed and heads for the bathroom to prepare for another day of studying and delivering. As he steps out of the shower, a towel around his waist and one on his head, his dream comes back to him; more directly, the part where he gets a kiss from his grandmother. _(Yuck, not Granny! Fond as I am of her, her kiss isn't the kind I'd wish to dream about.)_ He grabs his toothbrush and furiously scrubs his teeth and mouth.

The phone interrupts his ablutions. Walking to the kitchenette, he picks it up. "Keitaro Urashima, may I help you?"

A familiar voice answers him "Keitaro! This is your Granny Hina! How are you my dear boy?" A tiny, tan-colored kitten rubs against Keitaro's leg.

His surprise quickly turns to heartfelt joy "Granny! I was just thinking about you! I'm doing great, how are you? I haven't heard from you in ages." Absently-mindedly, he takes a plate from the refrigerator, removes the cover, and puts it down for the kitten. Being kissed in his dreams by his grandmother may be disturbing for the young man, but Keitaro is genuinely fond of her.

"Were you now? Well, I'm doing just fine, Keitaro. I called you because I was wondering . Could you come to Hinata and see me this afternoon? I have something I want to discuss with you over tea." After a final strong rub and purr, the kitten starts eating her breakfast.

"Sure, Granny, I'll be over after I get done with prep-school. Say, about five?" Keitaro asks as he dries his hair.

"That'll be fine. I'll see you about five then. Take care, Keitaro."

"You too, Granny, see you later." As he hangs up the phone, Keitaro stares out the window of his apartment for a moment. He looks down at the kitten and says "I wonder what Granny wants, Noraneko-chan. I haven't heard from her much since she decided she wanted to re-open the old Hinata inn."

"Meowrrrrr?" The kitten looks up from her meal; the look in her eyes saying "beats me" as she continues eating.

Keitaro kneels and scratches the kitten behind her ears. Noraneko purrs and stops eating as she leans into Keitaro's caresses. "I gotta get ready for school. I'll be home a bit late, Granny wants to see me. I'll leave your dry-food bowl out in case I'm real late. You be a good kitty and don't stay out too much." Keitaro makes sure the bowl is full, the water bottle is topped-off, and the cat-flap in the kitchen window is unlatched for Noraneko's convenience.

Walking back to his bedroom, Keitaro finishes dressing and heads for his parents' bakery to make his morning deliveries before going to school.

**Later that day**

Having finished his deliveries, Keitaro buries himself in his books. Since he found out the other day that he scored twenty-seventh from the bottom in the last practice test, he has spent the entire week studying harder than usual.

That afternoon, Keitaro is walking down the hall at school, his thoughts lost on his studies as he flips through his notebook, when someone bumps into him. Staggering backwards, he puts a hand out, "Oh, I'm sorry; I wasn't watching where I was going."

He looks around and sees a girl sitting on the floor in front of him. She wearing a long, black leather coat _(like the tough girls in anime do)_ Keitaro thinks absently. Under the flopped-open coat he glimpses a several-sizes too large orange sweater and a loose-fitting tan skirt. Her eyes are hidden by thick, round glasses, and her honey-colored hair is done up in twin ponytails that stick out from her head. She stares up at Keitaro, anger flaring in her eyes as she balls her fists.

"What the heck do you think you're doing, jerk? For Kami's sake, can't you manage to walk and watch where you're going at the same time, you idiot?" she yells, glaring at the people giving her a wide berth as they walk quickly down the hall.

Keitaro, ignoring her tone, grabs the back of his head and bows. "I'm really very sorry, miss. You're right, I wasn't watching where I was going, and I apologize." He gives her a lop-sided smile as he reaches a hand out to help her up.

Slapping his hand out of her way, she picks up her book bag and stands, straightenening her coat. "Don't you touch me, you lousy pervert! I don't want your clumsiness to rub off on me!" She snarls.

Keitaro puts his hands out, palms facing her, "I said I'm sorry. I was just trying to apologize." He says, trying to calm the girl down.

"Ooooooh! If I want your apology I'll beat it outta you! Now get out of my way, baka!" She shoves Keitaro roughly to the side as she moves to go past him, causing him to trip over his own feet. As he starts to go down, he reaches out to grab something to break his fall. Unfortunately, his hand grasps the girls' arm near her elbow.

Her eyes go wide, and she spins towards him. "LET GO OF ME, YOU PERVERT!" She balls her right hand into a fist and slams it into Keitaro's forehead, sending him skidding, bouncing and flying back down the hallway, landing at the feet of his high-school friends, Haitani and Shirai, who are doing their best not to come to the attention of the angry female as she rushes past them.

Looking down at Keitaro, Shirai says "What do you think you're doing, getting in the way of that piece of work, Keitaro? You wanna end up in the hospital, or worse?"

"Yeah, that's Narusegawa. She's been trouble since she started here last month. Rumor has it she once beat up three guys just because one of them said 'hi' to her; put them all in the hospital for weeks!" Haitani says.

"I heard she nearly killed a skateboarder just for riding too close to her on the sidewalk!"

"I was told she hit one of the teachers and knocked half his teeth out; made it so he has to eat creamed corn for the rest of his life!"

"She's supposedly a hit-man, er, girl for the Yakuza!"

"She's a magical girl, and she has weird powers that let her steal your soul and turn you into a newt!"

Crickets chirp.

"Well, that's what I heard." Haitani says, scraping his foot on the floor.

Keitaro scratches the back of his head as he stands and adjusts his glasses. "You guys shouldn't listen to the rumor mill so much. I can't believe she's all that bad. At least, not the part about being a hit-girl for the Yakuza, or being magical." He rubs his forehead. "But, maybe I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on the rest. Ow!"

"Well, how about this? Can you believe she actually scored highest in the nation on her practice exam? She's got brains and brawn, but a total lack of respect for others. I'd hate to run into her all by myself, there's no telling what kinda tortures a devil-girl like that could think up." Shirai states, shivering.

"No kidding. And judging from her looks, she probably doesn't get out much on dates, and has a lot of pent-up issues with guys, you ask me." Haitani replies. "I mean, seriously! That long black coat look works for tough high-school girls, but she's a bit too old for that kinda cosplay."

Shirai glances down the hall in case she returns, "And are you gonna be the one to tell her that? I like my head right where it is, on my neck!' he says.

Keitaro shakes his head at his friends blathering as he retrieves his backpack and notebook. Putting the latter safely inside, he closes the backpack. Looking at the clock, he grimaces _(Oh no! If I don't hurry, I'll miss the train and I won't make it to Granny's in time.)_

Remembering that he forgot his wallet that morning, he asks his friends, "Hey, could you guys lend me some taxi money? I gotta go see my grandma this afternoon and I'd rather not fight the crowds and risk missing the train to Hinata."

Haitani and Shirai backpedal up the hallway, their hands shoved into their pockets "Sorry dude, but it's the weekend, and we got plans. See ya later, Keitaro." Shirai squeaks out.

"Yeah, take care buddy." Haitani sputters "We gotta get going"

Keitaro calls after the two skin-flints, "You cheap buggers! You friggin' tight-wads! You just wait and see, you'll need me to help you out one of these days, and what do you think will happen?"

Shirai; "Same thing as always, bud. You can't help yourself when anyone asks ya fer help."

Haitani; "Yeah, you're too soft of a touch, Keitaro. See ya!"

Keitaro looks at his friends as they disappear up the hallway. He smiles as he says to himself; "Yeah, I know. I just wish it'd rub off on others once in a while."

**About Four-thirty that afternoon, Hinata City**

Keitaro looks around after getting off the tram. The city is just like he remembers is, more like a small town or village than a suburb of Shibuya. People here walk at a slower pace than in Tokyo, seeming to not be in as much of a hurry to get where they are going.

Crossing the stone bridge over the Hinata River, Keitaro stops by a bench and looks at his watch. _(I still have half an hour before I see Granny. I think I'll just sit here for while, let my stomach settle.)_

He places his backpack in front of him as he sits. To himself, he says, "It's been years since I've been here, and having Granny call me out of the blue like that, wanting to see me, I guess I'm a little nervous."

Hearing an almost inaudible sigh, Keitaro looks around and sees a young girl sitting on the bench on the other side of the bridge gate. She has her head down, her short dark hair not quite hiding her face. The girl appears sad and worried, with a small tear at the corner of her eye.

_(Poor kid. Something seems to really be bothering her.)_ Keitaro looks on, his natural empathy pulling at his heart to see someone so obviously depressed. Not knowing if he should say anything, being a stranger to her, he pulls his sketchbook out and, with short, quick glances, he starts to draw.

_(She kinda reminds me of Nako-chan when she was younger. It's a shame a little kid like that looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders.) _Barely seeing his sketchbook, Keitaro lets his imagination and heart guide his hand._ (She's a cute little child, even if she isn't in the mood to smile right now.)_

Keitaro's hand moves almost without his conscious thought, capturing the image in his mind of how the girl 'should' look, with a care-free smile on her face instead of a frown. As he glances at her, he doesn't notice she has noticed his attention.

Shinobu Maehara, leaning forward, her elbows on her legs and her hands hanging loosely between her knees, is afraid that the strange man keeps looking at her.

(Oh, no! W-why does that man keep looking at me? What is he doing?) Shinobu looks down quickly as the man looks towards her again. Blushing slightly, she thinks (He, he doesn't look like a bad person. And he's just sitting there.)

Daring another look, she notices the man's eyes as he seems to be drawing something. Looking at her feet, _(His eyes look so kind, brown and warm. He has a gentle face, too. I wish…)_

She hears a disturbance and turns to see that three of the village elders are standing around the man, holding his sketchbook in their hands. "Nope, doesn't look like her." One of them says. "Isn't her likeness." Says another.

Shinobu watches as the young man tries to retrieve his book. "Hey, give that back! That's my sketchbook!" He pleads, jumping and trying to reach the book as the elders toss it from one to another. His hand hits the book as it goes past, knocking over to land in front her. It lands face up, and Shinobu gasps as she sees a drawing of HER! Smiling and happy. Not at all how she feels. "T-that's me!" she whispers.

Thinking about what the elders had just done, she looks at the young man, feeling sorry that they acted like bullies towards him. _(He seems like a nice person. Why are they doing this to him?)_ Gathering her courage, Shinobu dares to speak to the elders for the first time in her life.

Keitaro sees his book on the ground, his latest drawing confronting his unknowing subject. He hears her say "T-that's me!" as she, her face flushed, "That's not funny!" she sobs, looking at each of the elders before she glances at him. _(Oh no! She saw my drawing! I've angered her!) _

Slapping his hand, Keitaro explains "I'm sorry; it was just my stupid hand! See?" _(Now THAT was about the most idiotic thing you've ever said, Keitaro, blaming your hand for drawing!)_ Not wanting to cause any more problems, he grabs his backpack, turns and runs down the nearest side street.

Shinobu watches the young man disappear. _(Aaauuuuu! The poor man! H-he thinks I was blaming him!)_ She looks down, realizing he did not retrieve his sketchbook. She gently picks it up, staring at the drawing he did. _(It looks just like me! Except I'm smiling! H-he drew me smiling!)_

The three elders stand behind her, looking over her shoulder. "Let us see your smile," One asks in a gentle voice.

Shinobu, thinking about the young man, looks up, a weak but genuine smile on her face.

"Nope, isn't you. Yet." The elder says.

"Oh no, I h-have to return this to him." Shinobu looks at the elders.

All three point at the street Keitaro went down "He went to the Hinata Apartments."

Shinobu freezes at the mention of that name. _(T-the Hinata Apartments? Mom s-says that place is f-full of real mean girls! I….I can't go there!)_ Shinobu, hanging her head as she clutches the sketchbook to her chest, turns and walks in the opposite direction. _(B-but, I have to return his book.) _

Keitaro, still running, nearly trips and falls as he realizes he left his sketchbook behind. "Oh no! My sketchbook! Darn, I can't go back there right now!" Noticing where he is at, Keitaro's mood lightens "Hey! I know these streets! This is the way to Granny's place!"

Keitaro turns another corner and sees the Hinata Tea Shop. Next to it are the stairs leading up to the old Hinata Resort. Sprinting faster, he races up the stairs, his sketchbook forgotten in his anticipation at seeing his dear Granny again. As he reaches the top of the stairs and rushes to the front door, Keitaro misses the brass-lettered sign on the wall near the open gates:

**Hinata-sou All-Girl Reformatory.**

And beneath it, in red, painted-on letters:

**No Trespassing!**

**No Solicitors!**

**Males forbidden beyond this point on pain of death!**

**And we ain't kiddings!**

**For alcohol deliveries, ask for the Fox!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Love Hina – Crimes and Miss-Demeanors**

**Fanfic**

_Keitaro turns another corner and sees the Hinata Tea Shop. Next to it are the stairs leading up to the old Hinata Resort. Sprinting faster, he races up the stairs, his sketchbook forgotten in his anticipation at seeing his dear Granny again. As he reaches the top of the stairs and rushes to the front door, Keitaro misses the brass-lettered sign on the wall near the open gates:_

_**Hinata-sou All-Girl Reformatory.**_

_And beneath it, in red, painted-on letters:_

_**No trespassing!**_

_**Males forbidden beyond this point on pain of death!**_

_**And we ain't kiddings!**_

_**For alcohol deliveries, ask for the Fox!**_

_**No Solicitors!**_

**Chapter Two **

**Friday Afternoon**

Keitaro slides the front door open and enters the foyer to the old inn. Looking around, he's surprised at how little the place has changes since he was a child. "Hello! Granny! It's me, Keitaro!" he calls out, walking in to what looks like a common room; couches and chairs arranged haphazardly, a television and stereo in the corner, a few magazines strewn on the coffee table.

Picking one up, he looks at the cover. _(A horse-racing magazine? Granny doesn't play the horses. Why would she have these?)_. He sets the magazine down, absent-mindedly straightening them, before he notices a sign saying **'Manager's Office'** with an arrow pointing up the stairs. Following the sign, he finds the door to the manager's office open, but no one is inside.

Dropping his backpack inside the door, he slides it closed and continues looking for his grandmother. He goes back downstairs, checking in what seems to be a dining area and kitchen, with no luck. He wanders around the halls, not seeing a trace of his grandmother.

Rounding a bend in a hallway, he comes across a banner saying **'Hot Springs'** lightly swaying in the breeze from an open window. "Hot springs? Granny must have gotten them cleared up and re-opened." He follows the banner, and finds the entry to a changing room. Opening the door, he sees the steam and mists rising from the restored hot springs. Looking at his watch, Keitaro sees it is still fifteen minutes until five.

"Granny must have stepped out for something. I've still got a little while, maybe I can relax in the springs. It's been ages since I've gone to a hot springs." Keitaro says to himself.

Finding stacks of towels, Keitaro removes his clothes and places them on shelf near the door. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he steps outside and proceeds to enter the steaming waters. Easing down, he relishes the relaxing heat from the underground mineral springs.

Sitting on a submerged stone seat, Keitaro leans back, the water reaching to his midsection. "I could get used to this." He whispers, removing his glasses, closing his eyes and relaxing.

Suddenly, he hears a splashing noise. Keitaro's eyes snap open and he sits up, looking for the source of the noise. "I-Is someone there? Granny Hina, is that you?" he croaks, his voice barely above a whisper.

Squinting, he sees a movement in the mists as a figure, slender and obviously NOT his grandmother, steps into the hot springs. He freezes.

The young woman calls out, "Hey, Kitsune, is that you over there? I thought you were getting the laundry done." Giggling, Naru continues, "You better not have mixed up the colors again. I prefer my white underwear white, not tie-dyed!" She steps towards the figure in the mist, her honey-colored hair done up over her head, and holding her fogged up glasses in her hand as she squints in their direction.

Keitaro gulps. _(Oh, no! When did Granny start renting out rooms again? And why didn't she tell me they were girls living here?)_ Slowly, Keitaro puts his now fog-covered glasses on, slips down into the water and starts moving towards the edge of the springs, _(With glasses that thick, she must nearly be blind as a bat without them)_ hoping the approaching figure doesn't notice him.

"Okay, since you're already here, let's find out." Naru stands straight up, and pulls her towel down. "So, what do you think? Have I caught up to you yet?" she asks, holding her breasts up for inspections only three feet in front of the figure before her.

With his glasses fogged up, Keitaro can't see clearly anything farther than five or six inches from his nose. But, with the girls' words and actions, his imagination fills in the blanks. Blood drips rapidly from his nose as he flings himself backwards onto the edge of the stone springs. The girl steps closer, getting almost in his face and squints hard. "You're not Kitsune." she says, confusion in her voice.

Groggily, a dazed Keitaro sputters "Ah, no. I mean, I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone…."

Naru screams, "A man? What the heck are you're doing? Kitsune, Su! Get over here quick. Heeeeelp!" The girl takes off running, doing circles around the hot springs. Unwittingly, the stranger is dragged along behind her, because as she draws her towel back around her breasts with one hand, she accidentally latches onto his towel with the other.

Now it's either follow the wild girl, or be stripped naked, and Keitaro figures he's in enough trouble as it is without flashing some strange woman, so he struggles to keep up with her.

"Get away from me, get away from me, you pervert!" Naru yells as she tries to get away from the man she is unknowingly towing behind her.

Keitaro cries back "Let me go, let me go!"

This goes on for about two laps around the springs, until Naru passes closer to one of the large boulders on the edge. Keitaro slams into the stone, and Naru loses her grip on his towel. As he starts to slide into the water, she spins and plants a round-house kick to the side of his head, lifting him out of the water and onto the deck.

Shaking his head, Keitaro looks up, and sees another young woman with short brown hair, holding a laundry basket over her head.

Kitsune slams the basket over the intruders head as he stands and rushes for the hallway. Various objects of female underclothes lay draped over his head. Giving him a wicked grin, she yells at his retreating back, "Either pay me for those or give 'em back, ya panty-stealing peeping Tom!"

Keitaro bolts for the hallway, screaming and yelling for help "Granny!" He reaches some stairs and pauses, not hearing anyone in immediate pursuit. Cautiously he walks down the steps, where he sees another girl, this one little more than fourteen or so, blonde and deeply tanned. She is sitting calmly on the floor, smiling and looking up at him as he descends to the common room. Other than the military costume and helmet she is wearing, and a remote control in her hands, she appears normal.

Thinking that at least there's someone, even a child, who is not over-reacting and that he might be able to explain the situation to, he reaches the floor and asks, "Hi, who are you? Have you seen my gran…." as he steps on a small toy tank, which promptly explodes!

Su cries happily "Takes this, ya giant Hinata-smashing monster!" She presses a button on the remote control, and a half dozen more tanks fire multiple marble-sized pellets at the giant monster, er, strange man, as Su dances out of the room, heading out the front doors. The man cringes because the pellets sting like heck.

When the barrage stops, Keitaro stands there, looking at the pellets lying around him. _(What the heck was that about?)_. Suddenly, smoke starts rising from the pellets, and Keitaro smells the distinct aroma of…..gunpowder?

In a spurt of smoke and a flash of flame, Keitaro is blown out of the inn, to come rolling to a stop on his back, at the feet of the two older females, the younger girl sitting on the brown-haired one's shoulders. Dazed, semiconscious, smoke still rising from his body but otherwise unharmed, Keitaro looks up and sees three sets of eyes looking at him;

One smiling but curious _(He survived that withouts a scratch? Even Motokos don't hold up likes that when we is having fun. He musts be lotsa funs ta play with.)_

Another set with a mischievous glint her nearly-closed eye-slits _(Man, why couldn't it have been Naru's day to do laundry, Ah might've gotten me some of that.)_

The third set with unveiled anger and hatred. "You lousy pervert! What should we do with him, Kitsune? Tie him up, cut his tongue out and burn his corpse?"

Pulling out a wicked-looking knife, Kitsune replies as she steps towards the young man, "Sounds like a plan to me. Send his peeping butt straight to hell! And we're lucky today; No witnesses!"

Su looks over Kitsune's shoulder at the fallen stranger. "Burning courses won't fill me up!"

_(OH NO! They're going to torture me, kill me, cook me, and then eat me!) _"Aaaaargh! Someone help me! Please!" Keitaro pleads, trying to crawl away from his attackers.

Su leaps off Kitsune's shoulders and dashes around to stand on Keitaro's upper arms, holding him down and preventing him from using his hands. Naru kneels down and grabs his legs, holding him so he can't squirm.

Kitsune kneels at his left side, and places her left hand on his lower chest. "One quick stab to the heart, or shall Ah gut him and make it reaaal slow, Naru?" she asks, malice and glee warring for equal space on her face.

Su giggles and cries out, "Slow! Slow! Slow! I want him to stay here for a long time!"

Naru looks at the stranger, then at Kitsune. "Well, since he didn't get a chance to touch anything, make it quick. I still have to finish my soak."

A voice off to the side calls out, "What's going on here? Are you girls at it again?" An older woman, wearing an apron and smoking a cigarette comes around the corner.

"Hey! Now ya'll know ya'll ain't supposed to be smoking around us! Ain't you forgetting the rules?" Kitsune asks in a laughing voice. "Ya'll are gonna corrupt us with that dirty habit."

"My names not 'hey', Mitsune. Try to remember that. And as for corrupting any of you, I think I'm a little late for that job. Now, just let that person up so we find out what's going on here."

Naru interjects, "No! He came into OUR hot springs with only a towel on, and peeped at me like a perverted baka! Then he tries to take some of Kitsune's underwear, for reasons I don't even want to think about."

"Yes! And then he attempted to destroy all of Tokyo, but my army was able to stops him!" Su exclaims proudly. The three woman sweatdrop.

Meanwhile, Keitaro is still trying to squirm out of their grips, but can't. "Please, you gotta stop them, they're going to KILL ME!" He screams.

"Keitaro?" Haruka asks. "Is that you?"

Recognizing her voice now that she has called him by name, Keitaro responds."H-Haruka? Aunt Haruka? Oh, Kami-sama, help me! These girls are going to kill me!" THWACK! A paper fan smacks Keitaro in the head.

"Just call me Haruka."

Kitsune looks from Keitaro to Haruka and back again. "Ya'll know this peeping tom, Haruka?"

"Yes, that's my nephew, Keitaro Urashima, and Granny's grandson. Now, let him get up and get some clothes on. You girls should be ashamed of yourselves, holding down a defenseless, naked man." Haruka points out, her cigarette bouncing lightly in her lips as she struggles to contain her laughter.

Slowly, the three girls turn and notice that she is right. Keitaro is in front of them, but his towel is hanging on the rail near the door he was blown out of.

"Imgonnadie, imgonnadie, imgonnadie," Keitaro whimpers, clenching his eyes tightly closed.

Su steps off his shoulders and fights to keep Kitsune from covering her eyes and turning her away, "Come on, Su, ya'll shouldn't be seeing this kinda thing. Least, not for a few more years, anyways." Kitsune, blushing, leaves the knife lying on the ground next to Keitaro.

"Aw, why is you blushing so much, Foxy Mama? Do yas feel tired or something?" Pulling out a banana, Su says, "Here, haves a banana! It good energy foods!"

Naru, her face red as she averts her eyes, sees the knife Kitsune dropped. "W-we still haven't taken care of this pervert! I don't care if he is your nephew, he's g-gotta pay!" Keitaro's eyes open slightly at her words, and he sees her swiftly grab the knife and raise it in the air.

Before Keitaro can say more than "Ack!" Naru brings the blade down at the left side of his chest, directly at his heart. As it hits him, splatters of red coat her towel and arms, and he feels the drops on his body and face. Keitaro goes rigid _(She..she killed me! I'm dying!. Kami-sama, no! I shouldn't have…wandered around the inn…not her fault.)_

Keitaro opens his eyes and looks at the girl above him. Gently, he says, "I…forgive…you. I'm…sorry. It was…my…fault! I shouldn't …have intruded… on you." He looks at Naru, a bemused expression on her face and still holding the knife that ended his life, and all he can think of is that she is beautiful. _(Even though she killed me, she's so beautiful. They all are. At least, my last sight is of beautiful women.)_

Keitaro closes his eyes, a tiny smile on his lips, as he waits for his life-blood to pour from his veins, and the cold touch of Death to take him.

.

.

.

After a few moments, he is still waiting for the cold touch of Death to take him. _(Isn't everything supposed to get cold when you die like this?)_ he wonders. _(Maybe I'm doing something wrong.)_ Opening an eye, he sees the three girls are standing around him, looking anywhere but him, and appearing extremely embarrassed.

He can feel that someone has placed a towel over his hips, and looks to his other side to see Haruka kneeling beside him. He reaches a hand to her. _(I must be taking this better than I thought)_ he thinks _(My hand isn't shaking at all.) _"Good-bye, Aunt Haruka! Tell our family I love them all!"

THWACK! A paper fan smacks Keitaro on the side of the head. "Just call me Haruka."

Sitting up, he yelps in pain as he puts his hand on his head. "OW! Why did you do that, Haruka? That hurt!"

His aunt looks at him with half-closed eyes as she tilts her head. _(Wait a second! That DID hurt! But, the…the knife DIDN'T!)_ Quickly putting his hands to his chest, Keitaro looks down and sees that, through all the blood, there is no wound! No injury whatsoever!

Looking at Haruka, Keitaro points to his other side and says, "B-but, how? She killed me!" Looking around at the sound of sudden laughter, Keitaro sees the three girls are lying on the ground, holding their stomachs as they roll in fits of laughter. He notices the knife beside the girls; its rubber blade flopped to the side, exposing a pouch taped to it with the label 'Fake Blood – Strawberry-flavored' on it.

Keitaro tentatively puts his 'blood' covered fingertips to his mouth. Yep, strawberry.

His face rapidly turning three shades of red, Keitaro nervously rubs the back of his neck as he looks at the girls. "Uh, er, well, hmmm. When you think about it, I guess th-that w-was pretty funn...GACK!" Keitaro flops over backwards, blood spurting in an arc from his nostrils. He lies on the ground, motionless except for the twitching of his right foot.

The girls stop laughing to stare at the unconscious Keitaro. Kitsune turns with concern in her voice and asks, "Haruka, what just happened to your nephew?"

Haruka looks from Kitsune, to Keitaro, and then to Naru. "I think Naru let herself go a little too much with all the laughing after the little prank you played on Keitaro." She replies, pointing at Naru's chest. Naru, seeing the look on Haruka's face, slowly glances down to see that her towel has fallen from one side, giving Keitaro an eye-full of her right, er, endowment.

"Aaaaiiieee!" Naru pulls her towel up as Keitaro slowly pushes himself up "You lousy pervert! How dare you peep at me, AGAIN!" Spinning, Naru kicks Keitaro in a perfect soccer set-up, and then lands a powerful punch to his cheek, sending the hapless male flying over the inn. His scream fades away until they are stopped by a muted 'splash'.

"I thinks ya scored a bulls-eye, Narus! He musta landed right in the hot springs! Can I play with him now? It's my turn! It's my turn!" Su yelps for joy as she tries to break free from Kitsune's grip.

"Su, how about we get ya'll another banana, alright, sugah?" Su instantly forgets about playtime with the temptation of another banana in her reach. Leaping back onto Kitsune's shoulders, Su happily complies. "Yippee! Bananas! Well, whats are we awaiting for? Tallyhose and away, Silver! There're bananas with my name on 'em just waitings to be eaten!" Kitsune glances in the direction Keitaro was last seen, and turns to Naru, "Nice one, Naru! Ah swear I've never seen ya'll punch anyone that hard."

Naru blows on her hand and bows to her friend. "He might've gotten off with just a warning if he had kept his leering eyes to himself."

"I think it's best if the three of you go inside while I help Keitaro. There's no telling what'll happen if you get your hands on him again." Haruka says, adjusting her cigarette as she heads around the building to the hot springs. "I'll take Keitaro to Granny's room so he has a chance to recover a little. Then, we all need to sit down for a talk." She finishes, given the girls a strange look.

"And don't even think of putting the blame for this on us, Haruka. We weren't the ones acting likes perverts. This IS a girls-only reformatory, you know." Naru replies, her arms crossed in front of her. Kitsune pauses on her way to the door to turn and nod her agreement, still carrying Su on her shoulders.

**Early Friday evening, Hinata-sou**

Keitaro, fully clothed again, sits at the kotatsu in his grandmother's office, drinking tea with Haruka. He eyes her over the cup in his hand as he sips, thinking about what the quickest way out of this place is.

Haruka, sitting to Keitaro's right, holds her tea as she smokes, waiting for Keitaro to start asking his questions. They aren't long in coming.

"Haruka. Where is Granny? I was supposed to meet her here half an hour ago." Keitaro asks, placing his tea cup on the kotatsu.

Haruka pours him another cup of tea. "Granny left this morning. She's gone on a tour of hot springs around the world, and I've no idea when she'll be back."

"B-but, why did she ask me to meet her here? She said she had something she wanted to discuss with me."

"Granny told me all about it. In fact, we've been discussing it for a few weeks, already." Pulling a folded paper from her pocket, she slides it across the kotatsu to Keitaro. "Read that, it'll explain."

Keitaro takes the paper. It is from the Hinata-City Courthouse, and is dated Thursday (yesterday).

_Miss H. Urashima,_

_In reference to you request to allow Mr. Keitaro Urashima to take over as the Manager of the Hinata-sou All-Girl Reformatory, hereafter referred to as Hinata-sou, during your intended absence, the council has, upon review of his qualifications, voted in agreement. As of one week from the date of this letter, your guardianship status is rescinded, and Mr. Keitaro Urashima shall be designated the sole guardian of the court-ordered residents of Hinata-sou._

_Pursuant to the original order placing the following individuals under your supervision;_

_Miss Mitsune Konno, Miss Motoko Aoyama, Miss Naru Narusegawa, and Miss Kaolla Su;_

_If Mr. Urashima does not agree to become the Manager of Hinata-sou, or fails to maintain the minimum qualifications, or fails to provide a supervised environment for the individuals placed under his care, it is the will of the court that the above mentioned individuals, with the exception of Miss Konno, be removed from Hinata-sou, and transported to the Asahikawa Juvenile Detention Center, there to remain until they reach the age of majority. _

_Miss Konno will be taken to the Yamagata State Rehabilitation Institute for Alcoholism and be required to remain there until such time as the court determines she is no longer a threat to herself or others._

_Your servants,_

_H. Satou_

_M. Nakamura_

_Y. Itou_

Keitaro read the letter twice; still not quite sure he understands it. "Wait a minute, Haruka. Are you trying to tell me that Granny Hina wants ME to be the manager of a girls' reformatory? She has GOT to be kidding!" Keitaro looks at his aunt, hoping this is all just some sort of joke.

"That's exactly what it means. This property belongs to Granny, not the state. By her orders, only an Urashima can be the manager here. This land has been in our family too long for her to let the state get its hands on it." Haruka states, calmly lighting herself another cigarette.

Shaking his head, Keitaro asks "Why in the world did she re-open the inn as a reformatory? What was she thinking?"

Haruka hands Keitaro a small stack of folders. "These are the court files on the girls. They'll explain why they are here. But, they don't tell you anything about them, as people. As for Granny's reasons, those aren't on paper." Looking out the window, Haruka takes a breath before continuing.

"Each of those girls has had some pretty major issues to deal with. Some have had family problems, other problems with drinking, even problems just dealing with their own fears. Each one of those girls' families has had relations with ours, at one time or another. Granny decided she wanted to extend an offer to help them, rather than let the girls be sent off to some juvenile detention center for years. Here, the girls are free to move around, go to school, and even have friends over, although none of them ever do. Their reputations have left them, well, ostracized, and no one wants anything to do with them. Here, they can socialize with each other, and live just about like other girls."

Keitaro sets the folders down, his attention fully claimed by his aunt.

"But," she continues "they live here with the understanding that, if they get into trouble, even just once, they will be removed from here and placed in juvenile detention. Except Kitsune, she'll be sent to an alcohol rehab center if she ever…" Haruka stops as Keitaro interrupts her.

"Kitsune? There's no one listed on that letter named Kitsune." Keitaro retrieves the letter and reviews it again.

"That would be Mitsune Konno. Her nickname is Kitsune. And, so you are forewarned, she lives up to it. When I say she's as sly as a fox, that doesn't half-describe how conniving she can be. When she isn't sneaking sake into her room to get drunk, that is. Thank goodness she doesn't drink as much as she used to, but she still spends more time sleeping off a bender than I like."

Keitaro rubs his head, "Uh, right. Looks like I'll have my hands full. Anyone else I should be warned about beforehand?"

Haruka looks at Keitaro, her eyes wide open. "You're going to take the job? Just like that? No giving me the third-degree? No bargaining, no complaining?"

Keitaro looks at her. "I've heard and seen enough. If I don't take the position, they get to spend a couple of years in a state home. I couldn't put anyone through that, Haruka." Keitaro grins at her, "Even if one of them did 'kill' me."

"Keitaro, sometimes you are too kind for your own good. This isn't like adopting that demon you have at your apartment, you know." Haruka says, scratching at the scars on the back of her hand.

Keitaro holds his hands up "Hey, I couldn't help it if Noraneko didn't like it that time you were over for lunch and hit me with your fan."

Haruka thinks for a moment, "That half-pint demon of yours doesn't take kindly to anyone that doesn't treat you nicely."

"Well, you have to admit, she's accepted you since then. She even sits on your lap now."

"After snagging her claws into my jeans to make herself comfortable, she does."

Haruka then grins slightly "Are you going to move in to the manager's room? It is a long commute to your apartment; living here, you don't have to pay any rent." Grinning a little more, with a hint of malice "And you can bring that little oni with you to live here. I'm sure the girls would just 'love' that little troublemaker."

Keitaro thinks for a moment, not catching the tone in Haruka's voice about bringing his cat. "That would make sense, but, what about the residents? Don't you think they'd be uncomfortable with a male around, not just during the day, but at night, too?"

"Keitaro, you're the manager. It's not their decision to make. They're here because they want to avoid being sent to detention centers, or worse. You make the decision, and stick to it. They'll come around soon enough." Haruka tells him.

Sighing, Keitaro makes his choice. "It would be more convenient living here instead of commuting, and Noraneko would love having all the greenery to run around in. Plus, I see that the place needs a lot of maintenance work, and I can get more done if I don't have to waste time taking the train to and from Tokyo every day….I'll do it, I'll move in. But something tells me I'm going to regret it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Love Hina – Crimes and Miss-Demeanors**

**Fanfic**

"_Keitaro, you're the manager. It's not their decision to make. They're here because they want to avoid being sent to detention centers, or worse. You make the decision, and stick to it. They'll come around soon enough." Haruka tells him._

_Sighing, Keitaro makes his choice. "It would be more convenient living here instead of commuting, and Noraneko would love having all the greenery to run around in. Plus, I see that the place needs a lot of maintenance work, and I can get more done if I don't have to waste time taking the train to and from Tokyo every day….I'll do it, I'll move in. But something tells me I'm going to regret it."_

**Chapter Three**

**Friday, late afternoon, Hinata-sou**

Before she leaves his room to take care of business at the Hinata Tea Shop, Haruka tells Keitaro that dinner will be a six o'clock, downstairs in the dining room. She says she will pick up something from the noodle shop down the road, since they were out of microwave noodle cup and frozen meals.

Keitaro, his natural concern kicking in, asks "You mean that's how meals are done around here? Instant meals and microwave dinners?"

Haruka nods her head. "Yes. We can't afford to have a cook; the girls couldn't boil water without it tasting like burnt toast, so this is easier. On Fridays I pick up their meals for the next week from the convenience mart, but with you showing up today, I haven't been able to get around to it. Of course, sometimes they come down to the Tea Shop for dinner when they want a change of pace."

"Haruka, let me take care of it. It's the least I can do; seeing as how we're going to tell the girls tonight that I'm their new manager." Keitaro asks as he takes out his wallet and checks how much cash he has.

"You don't need to pay for the meals, Keitaro. I have money from the reformatory accounts that covers that." she tells him.

"No, you don't understand. I want to go to the market and get fresh food, so that I can cook dinner for them." Keitaro says, looking at his aunt.

Adjusting her cigarette, she crosses her arms and asks, "Since when did you learn how to cook?"

Rubbing his neck, Keitaro replies, "Well, I was eating beef bowls and noodle cups a lot the first week I moved into my apartment. I got tired of it, so I took some cooking classes on the side. My teacher said I had a fair hand at preparing meals and baking, but I kinda think they were just being nice to me. I did pick up some tips from mom and dad at the bakery, and I haven't had any stomach problems from eating my own cooking." He says, a lop-sided grin on his face.

Thinking for a moment, Haruka agrees. "Okay. It might help your position out if they see you are willing to cook a meal for them. If they like the meal, we'll tell them about you being the new manager after dinner. But, I insist you accept this for the stuff you need to buy, no need to spend your own money when we already have a budget for their meals." Haruka presses the money envelope into his hands. "You'd better hurry, if you want to get to the market and back in time to have dinner ready before six. The girls get kinda cranky when they have to wait on meals."

Keitaro smiles wryly and says, "Thanks for the heads-up. Last thing I need is for them to get ticked off at me while I'm in the kitchen."

Haruka tilts her head, "And why would being in the kitchen make a difference?"

Placing his right hand over his heart, Keitaro chuckles and says, "Real knives!"

Haruka stares at him for a moment, and then joins him in a laugh. "Ah! Good point, Kei. Well, off with you, now, and don't take too long."

Keitaro finds out from Haruka where the local market is located. "I'll close up the Tea Shop about five-thirty, and come up to see how your preparations are going." She tells him, waving as she leaves.

Reaching into his backpack and grabbing his notebook, Keitaro heads for the kitchen. Looking through the cabinets and refrigerator, he finds that, except for a half-empty bag of rice, a few noodle cups, a bottle of apple juice, some instant tea bags, and a can of beer, there isn't much to be had. Sitting at the small cook's table, he writes out a list of what he'll need to prepare a decent meal. He also notes what is needed as far as everyday items.

He notices that there are plenty of unused cooking utensils, a fair assortment of pots and pans, plates, cups, and dishes, a few hot pots, and a box full of daily-use tea sets.

About fifteen minutes later Keitaro reaches the market, using the directions Haruka gave him. Looking carefully, he selects the freshest vegetables and cuts of meat, and the fixings for a sweat and light dessert. Calculating the number of girls and what the kitchen lacks, Keitaro decides to supplement what Haruka gave him with money of his own, and buys two weeks' worth of fresh and dry goods for the dorm.

After the bus drops him off near the Tea Shop, Keitaro hauls the bags up to the reformatory. Pausing after he passes the gate at the top of the stairs, sweating and out of breath, he sets the bags down while he pulls out his handkerchief to dry his forehead. He stands there for a minute before continuing inside.

"What do you think you are doing? Did you not read the sign at the gate? If those glasses prevent you from seeing clearly, let me spell it out for you; _**No trespassing! Males forbidden beyond this point on pain of death!**_" A harsh voice behind Keitaro demands.

Spinning around, he sees a dark-haired girl, dressed in a conservative dark blue jacket/skirt combination, holding what appears to be a sword in her right hand. She is standing at the top of the stairs with, a book bag on the ground at her side.

_(M-maybe I spoke too soon when I mentioned screwing up in the kitchen! Now I've got a strange girl accosting me with a sword before I even make it inside!)_ Keitaro thinks, the hand holding his handkerchief frozen on his forehead. He tries to explain, but can only sputter a few incoherent syllables as he backs towards the front of the inn. "Uh, wha..,uh, ah,..tha..! "

"Silence! It is obvious that you are here without permission! This is a girls-only facility, you foul, deceitful, lecherous, perverted male! I shall see to it you never have the nerve to show your face here again!" Shooting a foreboding look at him, she adds, "And perhaps you will learn best if you are made to sacrifice a body part in the process!" She raises her bokken over her head. "Prepare to face justice!"

That's all Keitaro's brain has to hear to convince his legs that now would be a good time to run like hell!

Taking off like he was shot out of a cannon, the young man makes for the corner of the old inn, hoping to lose his assailant by ducking through the changing room door and heading for the manager's office. Screaming "Aaaaahhhhh", he sprints madly around the end of the main building and heads for the hot springs.

Unfortunately, Naru, Kitsune and Su are soaking in the hot springs, trying to relax after the excitement Keitaro's arrival and 'death' caused earlier. As he comes around the rear of the old inn, screaming like his life depended on it, Kitsune leaps up from the cover of the water, startled at his sudden appearance. Of course, since she is holding her towel in her hand and not wearing it, Keitaro gets an accidental view of her endowments.

Slamming to a stop like he has hit a brick wall, Keitaro's scream is cut short by a gurgled "GACK!" as he collapses backwards, blood spurting in an arc from his nose. Kitsune ducks back in the water, her hands whipping the towel over to cover her breasts "Aaaahh! My babies! What are ya'll doing out here, Keitaro! Git! Scram! Take yer peeping ass and get outta here!"

The sword-wielding girl, not knowing what has happened to Keitaro, comes charging around the corner and immediately trips over his prone figure, launching her head-first in a stretched-out dive into the hot springs. As Naru, Kitsune and Su leap out of the way, the girl skips half-way across the water like a stone on a pond before coming to a stop, and then she sinks like a toy wooden boat that has been hit by a dozen torpedo bombers. Hard and fast!

Naru rushes over as the girl surfaces, her clothes thoroughly soaked, hair flattened against her scalp, and eyes on fire. "Motoko! Are you alright? What happened? Why are you chasing Haruka's nephew? What did he do this time?" she asks as she attempts to assist the sword maiden to the edge of the hot springs, only to be shrugged off. Crawling out of the water, Motoko looks around, ignoring them.

Kitsune, her towel now wrapped around her, sees the look in Motoko's eyes. "Oh, Spit! Naru, help! She's locked onto Keitaro! Su, quick, stop her! Knock her down or something before she kills him!" she yells, struggling to reach Motoko before the sword maiden can reach the young man.

Keitaro, propping himself up on one elbow, shakes his head. As he looks up, he sees the crazed sword maiden, dripping wet and looking ready to kill, bearing down on him. Flipping over, he pushes himself to his feet and scrambles for the changing room door. "Somebody help! She gonna kill me! Haruka! Anyone! Help meee!"

"Come back here! I swear I shall remove parts of you that Ishido-sensei herself will be unable to re-attach, you perverted bastard!" Motoko raises her bokken and cries out, "Shinmei-ryu no Jakuzankusen! God's Cry Attack of The Sword of Wind!" A swirling _ki_ vortex emanates from her training sword, its tornado-like wind engulfing Keitaro before he can reach the door, throwing him against the far wall of the hot springs.

Slamming into the stones, he sticks there for a few seconds like bug on a windshield before sliding to the ground. Groaning as he rolls over, he sees Motoko is still coming after him. Standing with his back to the wall, he puts hands over his head as he mutters "Imgonnadie, Imgonnadie, Imgonnadie!"

Leaping over Naru's head, Su lands on Motoko's shoulders and wraps her left hand across the sword maidens' eyes. "Guesses who, Motokos! I'll gives ya three chances, and ya gets a banana if ya wins!" she says, her legs gripping Motoko's neck like a vice as she pulls out a wooden mallet and holds it over her head with her right hand.

Growling, Motoko reaches up and pulls the dark-skinned girls' hand down so that she can find her target again. "Su-chan! If you are holding that mallet over my head again, be warned! I am in no mood to play right now! There is a vile trespasser here that must be disposed of!"

Running up beside Motoko, Naru grabs her arm and spins the sword maiden around. Pointing at her target, she yells, "Motoko! That's not a trespasser! He's Haruka's nephew, Keitaro Urashima! He's here visiting his aunt! Don't kill him again!"

Her sword slowly lowering, Motoko looks at Keitaro before returning her attention to her friend. "Do not kill him AGAIN? Have I missed something here, Naru?" she asks in a confused voice. "You said that this, this male, is Haruka-san's relative?"

Blushing slightly, Naru grins. "Long story, Motoko. Come on, let's go inside and have some apple juice, and we'll tell you all about it." Naru pulls the sword maiden towards the door as Su looks down at Motoko's head and then at the mallet still in her hand.

"Shucky darnskies, Narus! When am I gonna gets to play with someone?" she asks as she tosses the mallet over her shoulder. "OW" Keitaro yelps and sinks against the wall again as the discarded weapon smacks him in the head with a loud thunk!

Motoko, her rage forgotten, pats Su on the foot. "We shall play later, after I have dried and changed, Su-chan."

"Hoorays! If we is lucky, maybe Keitaros will joins us as a moving target! That'd be loads of fun, Motokos! He moves pretty fast when he wants to!" Su crows, clapping her hands together and rubbing them in anticipation as they enter the inn.

Kitsune, passing them as she exits the changing room, has a robe wrapped around her and a wet towel in her hand. Moving quickly to Keitaro, she kneels and taps him on the shoulder. "Hey, Keitaro, ya'll can get up now. Motoko's gone inside and the coast is clear." She applies the wet towel to his face, wiping the blood from his nose.

Looking up, Keitaro gives Kitsune a lopsided grin. "Thanks, Konno-san! You've no idea how much I appreciate you three stepping in and saving me from that crazy kendo girl!"

Rapping her knuckles on his head hard enough to make him to yelp again, Kitsune waggles a finger at his face. "A word of advice for ya, Keitaro! Don't EVER let Motoko hear ya'll call her a kendo girl, unless ya'll are comfortable with the idea of eating your food intravenously! She'd as soon knock ya unconscious as look at ya as it is; she ain't exactly fond of strangers."

Accepting the towel from her, Keitaro rises. "Thanks for the warning. Who was that, anyway?"

"Oh, that's Motoko. Motoko Aoyama. She a tenants here, same as the rest us. She teaches classes at a local dojo in the afternoons after school. That's why ya'll didn't get to meet her earlier." Kitsune says, grinning at the pale look on the young man's face.

"Y-you mean a sword-carrying maniac lives here?" Kitsune nods. _(Oh, great! Why didn't Haruka tell me a sword-wielding demon lives here! I might have thought twice before accepting the job.) _Looking at the inn, he shakes his head. "Anything else I should know about you all, Konno-san? Like other strange habits, mannerisms, favorite weapons, stuff like that." Keitaro asks, giving her a slight smile as he cleans his face with the towel.

Frowning slightly at him, she turns and walks to the changing room door. "Hey, I ain't a snitch!" She pauses before she goes inside, and turns with a grin on her face, "Unless the price is right, Keitaro. Ah do like sake, ya know. And please, don't be so formal! Ya'll can just call me Kitsune."

She points at the towel in his hands and smiles sweetly "After all, that is MY bathing towel ya'll is rubbing all over your face, ya dirty dog, you!"

Kitsune giggles as a fresh spurt of blood dribbles from Keitaro's nose, the towel falling from his grip as he raises his hands to stop the flow. "See ya'll later, Keitaro."

Watching the girl depart, Keitaro scratches the back of his head. "I'd ask if this day could get any weirder, but I don't want to risk jinxing myself!" he says to himself as he picks up the towel and takes it to the changing room, where he drops it in a wash basket.

Going back the front of the old inn, and looking carefully around each corner first, Keitaro gathers up the bags of groceries and heads through the main door and proceeds to the kitchen. Putting everything away except what he needs for the meal he is preparing, he sets a kettle on to make some tea while he cooks dinner.

**Upstairs in Naru's room;**

After the girls dry off and change, they meet to explain to Motoko what has happened. Naru hands everyone some cups of juice. "Someone's gonna have to run to the market, we're just about out of juice, and there aren't enough tea bags to make a decent pot, either."

Motoko, now dressed in a traditional red and white hakama, accepts the apple juice gratefully. "I expect Haruka is out picking up this weeks' store of ramen and frozen meals. If we want sufficient drinks for our dinner, it appears I must take it on myself to drag Su to the market, again." She says, turning with a wry smile for youngest girl.

"Motokos, ya knows I always has to go to the markets with ya; You always forgets to get enough bananas, and I gots to carry them." Su says, poking the sword maiden in the shoulder.

"That is why I always insist you accompany me, Su-chan. One bunch of fruit I do not mind; the four you normally insist upon requires assistance." Motoko replies. "So, that, ..male. You said he is related to Granny Hina?" she asks, looking at the three girls.

Naru begins. "Yes, he's Haruka's nephew, Keitaro Urashima. He gave us some story about visiting Granny, but we all know she went on a vacation last week, and won't be back until the end of the month." Naru tells her, Kitsune and Su nodding in agreement. "When he got here this afternoon, he snuck into the hot springs and tried to grope me!"

Motoko's head snaps over, her eyes starting to burn again. Her grip tightens on her sword. "Then why did you prevent me from dispensing justice on him?"

"Well, actually, he didn't try to grope Naru. He didn't know she was in the hot springs, or that this was an all-girl reformatory. He just wanted to soak a bit while waiting for Granny." Kitsune adds. Su nods while Naru looks down at her hands.

"So, Urashima believed that Hinata to still be a resort, then. I suppose that is understandable. Granny had mentioned that many in her family disagreed with her re-opening it as a reformatory, and did not have contact with her anymore." Motoko says, calming down, until Kitsune adds; "He's also a panty-stealing peeping-tom! He got into the laundry and was running around with mah panties on his head!"

Her eyes like daggers, she turns to the brown-haired girl. "But, if that was the case, why did you also stop me from chasing Urashima from the grounds?" Motoko starts to rise.

Su taps her shoulder, "Well, ya sees, Motokos. Kitsunes kinda threw the laundry on Keitaros, after Narus did a sweet spinning kick to his head and knocked him outta the hot springs."

Motoko, once again regaining control of her emotions, settles back to a kneeling position. "I see. Well, then perhaps he can be excused. He was most likely panicked after the attack from Naru, and surprised Kitsune while she was doing the laundry."

Su adds, "Yep. Then he flashed all of us. I didn't gets to see much, though, Kitsune was covering my eyeses."

On her feet faster than they can follow, Motoko has her bokken tightly gripped in both hands. "And in spite of this, you stopped me when I was attempting to protect you all? Urashima cannot be allowed to act this way, or be permitted to remain here another minute. I shall most assuredly remove several parts from the body of that foul, deceitful, lecherous, perverted male!" She strides to the door, sliding it open, only to have Naru throw herself in front of her, blocking the way.

Blushing slightly, Naru puts her hand on Motoko's shoulder. "Well, that's not exactly accurate. When Su's tanks exploded, it blew Keitaro out the door. His towel, well, it kinda got caught on the rail, and he rolled into the front lawn, uh, without it." Naru looks at Kitsune and Su, who are also blushing. "We were so intent on scaring him away, we didn't notice it until Haruka showed up."

Motoko, her eyes wide, nearly loses her hold on her bokken. Blushing herself a little and giggling, she says, "Spirits! I wish I had been here to see the look on Haruka-san's face when she found the three of you standing out there with her nephew lying naked in the grass!" Kitsune giggles, Su laughs out loud, and Naru smiles, but her blush grows deeper. This does not go unnoticed by Motoko. "And before I am giving reason to desire to rush out and attack Urashima again, perhaps you could finish the story, Naru."

"Uh, well, you see. We weren't exactly standing around when Haruka spotted us. We were, we were holding Keitaro down on the ground, threatening him with a knife." Naru says, her foot tracing imaginary lines on the floor.

Motoko stares wide-eyed at her. And then stares a bit more. "Do you mean to state that Haruka-san found the three of you threatening to remove a part of her naked nephew's body? Spirits! I am surprised to see you alive, knowing ho foreboding she can be when she is angry!"

"No, no! It wasn't like that! We weren't going to, uh, cut anything off, we…we killed him!" Naru sputters.

Motoko, her face pale, drops to her knees, "By my ancestors! Do you mean that, that what I just saw was Urashima's apparition? His spirit from beyond the realm of the living?" Thinking a moment, Motoko shakes her head. "No! That is not possible! I sensed no such emanations from hos form. And for one, Urashima was bleeding from his nostrils! Spirits do not bleed."

Kitsune answers her. "Well, we didn't exactly kill Keitaro." Reaching into her back pocket, she produces a knife with traces of red on it, the blade flopping back and forth as she wiggles it.

Understanding appears on Motoko's face. "Ah, I see. The rubber knife with a fake blood packet maneuver, I take it."

Su claps her hands. "Righty oatsies, Motokos! Of course, the look on Keitaro's face whens Narus killed him was nothing compared to hers when he lay there dyings and he forgaves her." she says, pointing at Naru. "Her jaw was dragging on the grass froms the way Keitaros was so nice to her when he died. I almost cried, he was so nice to us when he thought we had murderized him." Su blushes while looking at the sword maiden.

"You mean, Urashima fell for that trick without a fight? You have never deceived anyone with that knife before. He must indeed be an idiot, a coward, and a fool as well!" Motoko says. Looking up, she suddenly stiffens. Sniffing the air, "Is it just me, or do any of you smell the aroma of freshly brewed Oolong tea?" The girls look at each other, then at the door. Moving as a one, they trace the smell down the stairs.


	4. Chapter 4

**Love Hina – Crimes and Miss-Demeanors**

**Fanfic**

_Su claps her hands. "Righty oatsies, Motokos! Of course, the look on Keitaro's face whens Narus killed him was nothing compared to hers when he lay there dyings and he forgaves her." she says, pointing at Naru. "Her jaw was dragging on the grass froms the way Keitaros was so nice to her when he died. I almost cried, he was so nices to us when he thought we had murderized him." Su blushes while looking at the sword maiden._

"_You mean, Urashima fell for that trick without a fight? You have never deceived anyone with that knife before. He must indeed be an idiot, a coward, and a fool as well!" Motoko says. Looking up, she suddenly stiffens. Sniffing the air, "Is it just me, or do any of you smell the aroma of freshly brewed Oolong tea?" The girls look at each other, then at the door. Moving as one, they trace the smell down the stairs._

**Chapter Four**

Silently following Motoko, the girls find themselves in the dining room, hearing the sounds of someone in the kitchen. On the table are plates and eating utensils, cups and napkins. Raising her hand to stall the others, Naru crosses the room to quietly peer through the door to the kitchen. To her surprise, she sees Keitaro, standing in front of the stove, cooking. Motioning behind her back, she signals the others to come to the door.

Mesmerized, they watch as Keitaro weaves a dance around the oven, adding spices here, testing a pot there, and opening the stove to check on something baking inside.

After placing the tea to boil, Keitaro sets about preparing dinner for the girls. About halfway through, he pauses, sensing something isn't quite right. With the hairs on the back of his neck tingling, he slowly turns, a spatula held in his hand. Standing at the door to the dining room, he sees the four girls staring at him.

"Uh, h-hi. D-did you need something?" he asks, suddenly wary of being alone with the four delinquents at the same time.

Regaining some composure, Naru sputters and points at the stove top. "T-tea?"

Relaxing slightly _(Oh, they just want some tea!),_ Keitaro replies "S-sure. I'll bring some as soon as it's ready. If you all sit, I'll be out in a minute."

Backing away from the door, the girls sit at the table, looking back and forth at each other. Su, "Do ya smells that? Keitaros is cooking up something yummy in there. I hope he makes enoughs for all of us!" she says, licking her lips.

"What do ya'll think Keitaro-san is up to? Ah mean, after what happened, why is he going through the trouble of cooking for us?" Kitsune wonders while looking at the kitchen door.

Naru shakes her head "I've got no clue. You'd think he would have high-tailed it outta here first chance he had. Maybe Haruka put him up to this."

Motoko disagrees. "Haruka-san would have invited us to the Tea Shop for a meal, as we never use the kitchen facilities here. I doubt this is her doing. Perhaps Urashima-san has some other motive for his actions."

Backing through the door, Keitaro enters the dining room with a tea tray. Turning, he walks to the table. Placing the tray at the end, he pours four cups and, with a bow, serves the girls.

Sipping experimentally, Motoko thinks _(This tea is excellent)._ Sipping some more, "It has been some time since I have partaken of freshly brewed tea outside of Haruka-san's Tea Shop. It is a pleasant change to not have to leave the reformatory to have fresh tea."

Naru drinks her tea slowly, savoring the flavor. "This is good! It sure beats instant tea bags," she gimaces at the thought "although you get used to the taste of them after a while."

"Not that this is my normal beverage, but Ah could get used to having a nice cup of tea like this every day. If ya'll plan on stopping by in the future, Ah'd be happy to sit and have another cup with ya, Keitaro-san."

Keitaro blushes at the compliments, a fact which does not go un-noticed by the girls. Looking at Su, he sees that she hasn't touched her tea. "Is something wrong with your tea, Miss Koalla?" he asks with some concern.

"Whadda I look like, some kinda psychedelic tree-climbing teddy bear? The name's Kaolla Su, but you can calls me Su." Frowning slightly, she continues "The tea smells greats, but I normally likes ta have bananas with my tea."

His face lighting up, Keitaro says "Ah, I think I can take care of that, just a sec." The girls watch as he disappears into the kitchen, returning a few moments later with a bowl of fruit. Su yelps a 'Hurray!" as she spies a full bunch of bananas in the bowl.

Setting it in the middle of the table, Keitaro removes a banana and presents it to Su. "Here you are, Su-chan. I only hope it doesn't spoil your appetite, dinner is almost ready."

Kitsune snickers "Ya'll ain't never seen Su eatin'! She'll devour just about anything ya'll put in front of her." Pointing to the tanned youngster, she indicates the truth of her words.

Keitaro looks and sees that Su has already finished the banana, and is looking longingly at the bowl. Taking another banana, Keitaro hands it to an again smiling Su. "Ya is now officially my bestest friend, Keitaros. 'Cepts for Motokos, that is. Unless ya likes to play whack-a-Mol-Mollian!"

"Don't you mean whack-a-mole?" Keitaro asks?

Pulling a wooden mallet from behind her, Su replies "Not the ways I plays it with Motoko!"

Rubbing the top of her head, Motoko glares at Su. "Not now, and no, not later, either."

Keitaro is relieved when he hears a muted 'ding' from the kitchen. "Oops! Excuse me, gotta get back to the kitchen. Dinner will be served in a few minutes." Keitaro starts to head back into the kitchen when Haruka walks in to the dining room and smiles at him. "Well hurry it up then, Keitaro. I'm starved! I want to see if your skills match your claims." Sitting, she nods at the girls as Keitaro replies "Right away, Aunt Haruka! Ow!" Keitaro yelps.

"That's just Haruka." She says, placing the paper fan she smacked Keitaro with back into her apron pocket.

"Sorry. I keep forgetting." Keitaro ribs his head and walks into the kitchen.

The girls turn to Haruka and start bombarding her with questions.

"What's going on?"

"Why is your nephew here?"

"Hows can he survive all that stuffs we dids to him earlier looking like a weakling?"

"Can he really cook, and is he single?"

"In order: Nothing's going on, Naru. No reason special, Motoko. I don't know, Su. So he claims, and yes, Kitsune." Haruka replies, pouring herself a cup of tea. She notes that all of the girls perk up at her confirming that Keitaro is single. Deciding to get a little revenge in for his sake, she continues, "Well, single as in 'not married', at least. He does share his apartment with, well, best to say she's a 'wild cat' and leave it at that." She adds, smiling behind her cup.

Naru sputters in her tea. "You mean a nerdy, clueless guy like him actually has a girlfriend?"

Kitsune agrees. "Meaning no offense, of course, but she must be something of a reject if she lives with your nephew."

Haruka suppresses a laugh. "Actually, if you take the time to look at her, she is quite beautiful, even if her hair is kind of short. But, she and I don't get along very well. One time we were in the same room together, and I got the worst of it."

Motoko sets her tea cup down and looks at Haruka. "What do you mean, 'worst of it', Haruka-san? Did this female have the audacity to attack you?" she asks, wide-eyed that anyone would have the courage to confront their house-mother. Even Motoko avoids confronting Haruka, sensing a deep, inner power in the older woman.

Nodding, Haruka responds. "I made the mistake of smacking Keitaro when he forgot and called me 'Aunt Haruka' while having tea with him a few weeks ago. I left his apartment with my arm bandaged that day. And I considered myself lucky." she says, working the girls for all she could with the story. "Wasn't the first time Nora put me in my place where Keitaro is concerned, either."

Kitsune rubs her chin and drawls, "Nora, huh? Sounds like your nephew hooked himself up with a pretty tough country gal, huh?" _(Dang, I was kinda hoping to have some fun teasing Keitaro. Wouldn't be fair to him if he has a girlfriend, though.)_

**[AN: Nora means 'rural' or 'alley' in Japanese. In this case, of course, Noraneko means 'alley cat', not a name of a country girl.]**

Haruka takes a sip of tea and shrugs. "It's his life."

At that moment, the door to the kitchen opens, and Keitaro enters, a large serving tray in his arms. Moving carefully, he approaches the table. "Uh, Haruka, if you wouldn't mind, I think I could use a hand." he says, smiling lopsidedly.

Haruka stands helps Keitaro maneuver the tray to the near end of the table. Once down, Keitaro starts setting plates and bowls in front of everyone. Rice, soup, peppered beef, sauces, and a sweet for dessert find their way to places in front of each of the girls.

Wiping his hands, Keitaro says, "It's not exactly five-star cooking, but I hope you all like it." Walking to the far end of the table, Keitaro helps himself to a cup of tea. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

Noticing for the first time that only five places were set, and there are six people in the room, Kitsune asks, "Aren't ya'll going to eat with us, Keitaro?"

Keitaro bows and rubs the back of his neck. "I have something waiting in the kitchen. You all just enjoy your meal. I've already been enough of a distraction for you today. Besides, I have a lot of things to get done this evening, and I have studying for school to do as well."

Naru jerks when Keitaro mentions school. "Wait a second. You're a bit old to be a high school student? Don't tell me someone as dorky as you goes to a university."

Before he can reply, Haruka says "Tokyo University if I'm not mistaken, right, Keitaro?" She asks, looking towards the young man.

Before he can reply, Naru explodes. "Tokyo U.! I can't believe it!"

Keitaro splutters, "Uh, well, not exactly Aunt Haruka..Ow!"

"Just call me Haruka." The fan returns to its apron pocket again. "As I figure it, you're what, second year now?"

"What's a Tokioewe? Is it sauce for the pepper beef?" Su asks.

"No, it's not…" Keitaro tries to correct his aunt and Su.

Kitsune interrupts him, her normally slitted eyes wide open. "What program are ya'll taking, Keitaro-san?"

Rubbing his head, Keitaro tries to get his bearings again, "Well, I had thought pre-law…"

Her eyes sparkling, Kitsune exclaims, "Ya'll hear that? He's gonna be a lawyer! Kami-sama knows we could use a good lawyer around here on our side. Ah think Ah'm in love! Marry me, Keitaro-san!"

"Kitsune! Don't joke around like that!" Naru says, looking pointedly at the Fox.

"Well, you know a better way to stay outta trouble than to be married to a lawyer?" Kitsune says with a wink and grin.

"Alright girls, are you going to sit here and give Keitaro the third degree, or are you going to at least taste what he took the trouble to cook for you?" Haruka asks.

As the girls settle down, Keitaro lets out a silent sigh of relief. Until Haruka says, "And Keitaro, you just march yourself into the kitchen and bring out a plate for yourself. You aren't going to go through all the trouble of preparing a meal for these girls just to eat cup noodles in the kitchen by yourself."

Keitaro's mouth drops open as the girls turn to stare at him. From his guilty look, they all realize that that's exactly what he was going to do. They all try to stifle their giggles as Keitaro meekly slinks back into the kitchen to do as his aunt directed. Haruka glares at them when he returns, carrying a small tray with his meal on it, ensuring no one says anything to embarrass the young man. At least, not for a little while.

"Itadakimasu!" everyone says after Keitaro seats himself at the far end of the table next to Haruka. To herself, she thinks _(I don't blame Keitaro for keeping his distance, but he is the new manager, and he's going to have to interact with these delinquents sooner or later.)_

Tentatively, although the aromas are tempting, the girls taste their meals. To their surprise, the food taste just as good as it smells. The beef is tender, the rice is seasoned and not clumpy, and the dessert is heavenly.

"Ah could get used to having a man around here if Ah could look forward to cooking like this every day!" Kitsune says, well aware of the reaction her words have on Keitaro, who blushes at the compliment and its implied meaning.

"Yummies! I likes Keitaros's chow! Microwave meatloaf just ain't gots the same oomph! to it!" Su says, happily wolfing down her meal and eyeing Motoko's plate beside her.

Motoko, having been unprepared for the savory dishes, tries hard to compliment the male in their mists. "I, uh, well that is to say, while I have developed a certain fondness for ramen noodles, it is a pleasant, er, somewhat enjoyable change of pace to have a freshly prepared meal instead."

Kitsune looks at Motoko, and then winks at Keitaro. "That's high praise, Keitaro! At least, as far as Motoko is concerned. I think she likes ya."

Keitaro sputters, dropping his chopsticks while putting his hands in front of him. "Y-you gotta be joking, Konno-san! It's not that good, really. Just something I threw together, no big deal." He says, trying to deflate the situation.

Motoko, her eyes flaring, growls "Urashima! Have the g-good graces to accept even small compliments. Although I have tasted better _(but not since I can remember)_ this meal is passable."

Naru surreptitiously glances at Keitaro and smiles slightly. Unknown to him, a grain of rice is stuck to his cheek. _(That's kinda cute, in a dorky way.)_ Reaching across the table before she realizes what she is doing, Naru starts to pick the grain off his cheek. Keitaro, his face already red, blushes two shades more as Naru comes to her senses and freezes, her fingers lightly touching Keitaro's cheek.

"Oh ho! Who's after the lawyer now, eh Naru?" Kitsune teases. "Besides, ya'll didn't claim dibs on that rice, so why not play me rock-paper-scissors for it?"

Leaping onto the table, Su places her hands on Keitaro's shoulders and licks the rice grain from his cheek before rubbing her face against his. "Finders-peepers!" she cries. "Oooh! Your face is so smooth, Keitaros! And you smell nice, too!" Leaping back, she continues her meal, oblivious to the stares of the others, or the fact Keitaro has fallen over backwards in his chair.

Keitaro, his eyes whirling, pulls himself up from the ground, his hand on his cheek.

Naru, a vein throbbing on her temple, balls the hand she had raised into a fist. "Keitaro! You pervert! She's just a middle school student!" Rearing back, she slams her fist into Keitaro's forehead, sending him backwards against the dining room wall, where he slumps down.

Shaking his head, he rubs his neck as he stands. "I'm sorry, Narusegawa-san! I guess I slipped."

Haruka looks over at Keitaro, and then at Naru. Smiling inside, she thinks _(hmm. She pulled her punch that time)_ as she eats her soup.

Keitaro resumes his place at the table as Naru looks around contritely, avoiding Keitaro's gaze. Under her breath, unheard by anyone else, she whispers "sorry" before continuing her meal.

The rest of the dinner goes more normally. Kitsune manages to get conversation going again by describing for Haruka, in detail, their first encounter with Keitaro that day. Except for Motoko, who is not pleased she missed out on the fun, and Keitaro, who blushes and tries to concentrate on his dessert when Kitsune gets to the part about him lying naked on the grass, everyone relaxes and has a good laugh.

After everyone finishes their meal, including Su, for whom Keitaro served seconds of everything, including the dessert, everyone moves to the common room. Haruka ask Keitaro to join her in the kitchen for a moment.

"Kei, you stay here and clean up. I'll take some tea in for the girls while I get a feel for how they are accepting you being around. When I call for you, come in and we'll let them know you're the new manager."

Keitaro, placing the leftovers in the refrigerator, pauses. "Haruka, could you do me a favor?"

Picking up a tray with cups of tea, Haruka says "What's that, Kei?"

Grinning, he rubs the back of his head. "If they seem likely to want to kill me when we break the news to them, do you think you can hold them back long enough for me to get away?" he say, a slight laugh in his voice.

Grinning, she replies "No guarantees, Kei. Two or three at once I can handle, but if all four come after you, it's every Urashima for herself."

"Don't you mean for his or herself?" Keitaro says, half-serious.

"You heard me right the first time. This is a reformatory, you know, and those girls aren't here because they wanted lessons in poise and good manners." Haruka says.

**Friday evening**

After Haruka sits down to drink tea with the girls, Kitsune beats her to the punch and brings Keitaro into the conversation. "So, how come we never heard about this nephew of yours who's a big-time Tokyo U. student and who knows how to cook such tasty meals?" she asks accusingly.

Maintaining a look of disinterest, Haruka replies "First off, since this is a girls-only reformatory, the likelihood of any males showing up on the doorstep has been remote to none. Second, I haven't seen Keitaro since before Granny turned the old inn into a reformatory, so the subject never needed to be brought up with any of you. Third, after hearing how you treated him on first meeting him, I guess you could say a desire to preserve the life of a relative enters the mix."

Motoko, seeing her opportunity, replies. "Since you brought it up, why is he here? Relative he may be, but this has been designated a girls-only reformatory. He should not be here in the first place. Could he have not visited you at the Tea House instead?"

Naru speaks up "Yeah! Motoko's right. Why is he here? He could've been hurt, and then where would we be? If he had decided to call the police, I shudder to think of the trouble we'd be in right now. It would have been safer for us all if he had just stopped by your Tea House."

"But, he's so much fun! We'd've never had the chance to plays with Keitaros if Haruka had kept him down the hill. I like him. I wish Keitaros could stay here and plays with me every day!" Su says, chomping on another of the fresh bananas Keitaro had brought from the market.

_(Well, that's one down. Two, if I can keep Kitsune from killing Keitaro from nose-bleed blood-loss)_ Haruka thinks to herself. Out loud, she replies, "It was my idea to meet Keitaro up here, since the common room is a better place for socializing than the Tea House."

Snickering, Naru says "But isn't that what Tea Houses are for? Socializing?" She regains her composure as Haruka looks at her from under half-closed eyelids. "Sorry."

Turning to Kitsune, Haruka asks innocently "So, you think Keitaro knows how to cook? You're not just saying that because his aunt is sitting right in front of you, are you?"

Kitsune pauses for a moment. "Truth be told, that was the best meal Ah've had in ages. Kami-sama, Ah'd almost forgotten what a good home-cooked meal tasted like." Bowing her head, she continues, "I really appreciate Keitaro going out of his way to do that for us, even after what we did to him." Looking up with her typical gleam in her eye, "He's the marrying-type for sure. Tell me, how tight are he and Nora? Any long-term commitments between them?" she says, giving Naru and Motoko a wink.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, Kitsune, but, as far as I can see, Keitaro and Nora are inseparable. He wouldn't leave her, and she wouldn't let him go." Haruka says, enjoying rubbing it in a bit more. She doesn't miss the slight fall in the smiles on the girls' faces at her last comment.

Motoko tilts her head in thought. "Urashima seemed to be quite adept at avoiding injury when accosted. Tell me, Haruka-san, has he had any training in the martial arts?"

"No Motoko, I'm afraid not. Keitaro was introduced to them as a child, be he didn't have the heart for the aggressiveness of it. He did pick up a bit of the non-offensive parts, but he hasn't studied or practiced them since he was eight or nine years old. But," and here she looks at each of the girls "he does seem to have a natural ability to recover from injury that seems almost unbelievable. This, I might add, is very fortunate for all of you."

The conversation drags for a moment. Then, Naru asks, "You said Keitaro was in Tokyo University. Wasn't today a school day? Or were his classes not in session?"

"Well, I asked him what day would be convenient for him to come visit. He knows his schedule better than I do, so I guess he had today off from classes." Haruka replies.

"Oh. I guess that makes sense. He doesn't seem like the type who'd shirk on his responsibilities." Naru comments, looking at her tea cup and then the tea pot. Haruka pours her another while thinking _(that's two down, Naru is wavering, and Motoko is on the edge. That's probably the best I can hope for.)_

Setting the tea pot down, Haruka calls out "Keitaro, you can join us anytime now."

Almost immediately, Keitaro can be heard opening the kitchen door, and appears moments later walking in from the dining room, a cup of tea in his hand. "I didn't want to intrude while you were all talking out here."

"So you figured it was more sociable to sit by yourself in the kitchen drinking alone?" Haruka teases him. "Sit down here and relax a bit, Kei. That was an excellent meal, by the way."

As the girls add their compliments to Haruka's, Keitaro blushes and stumbles over to sit on the couch between his aunt and Naru, taking care to not touch the honey-haired girl, which does not go un-noticed by Naru.

Looking at him and giving his arm a squeeze, Haruka says "Well, I guess there's no reason to hold back." Turning to the girls; "You all seem to be pleased, or at least tolerant, of Keitaro. That's good, seeing as how he's your new manager."

Silence. In the distance, a dog barks.

Three sets of female jaws hang open. One set of male eyes dart nervously at five sets of female eyes. One set of female legs leap into the air and land around Keitaro's neck. "Yippees! Keitaros is gonna stays here and be my bestest pal and plays with me every days!" Su crows, wooden mallet in hand. With a mighty swing, she smashes it against the side of Keitaro's head. "Tags, yer it!"

"Gack!" Keitaro falls over sideways, his face landing in Naru's lap as Su leaps away. Everyone can almost hear the vein pounding in Naru's temple as the honey-haired girl blushes bright red.

"Oh boy, this is gonna be good!" Reaching behind her to the cabinet, Kitsune grabs a bottle and pours a large splash of the clear liquid into her empty tea cup. Lifting it as in a toast, she says, "Sake sake!......Wait a minute! Did ya'll say 'new manager'?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Love Hina – Crimes and Miss-Demeanors**

**Fanfic**

_Looking at him and giving his arm a squeeze, Haruka says "Well, I guess there's no reason to hold back." Turning to the girls; "You all seem to be pleased, or at least tolerant, of Keitaro. That's good, seeing as how he's your new manager."_

_Silence. In the distance, a dog barks. _

_Three sets of female jaws hang open. One set of male eyes dart nervously at five sets of female eyes. One set of female legs leap into the air and land around Keitaro's neck. "Yippees! Keitaros is gonna stays here and be my bestest pal and plays with me every days!" Su crows, wooden mallet in hand. With a mighty swing, she smashes it against the side of Keitaro's head. "Tags, yer it!"_

"_Gack!" Keitaro falls over sideways, his face landing in Naru's lap as Su leaps away. Everyone can almost hear the vein pounding in Naru's temple as the honey-haired girl blushes bright red._

"_Oh boy, this is gonna be good!" Reaching behind her to the cabinet, Kitsune grabs a bottle and pours a large splash of the clear liquid into her empty tea cup. Lifting it as in a toast, she says, "Sake sake!......Wait a minute! Did ya'll say 'new manager'?" _

**Chapter Five **

At Kitsune's question, everyone freezes. Keitaro rolls off Naru's lap and hits the floor, holding his head. Haruka crosses her arms and stares. Motoko watches as Naru leaps to her feet.

"Manager? What the hell, Haruka? What about Granny? Whose damned idea of a joke is this?" Naru sputters, standing with clenched fists over the prone Keitaro.

Su stares open-mouth as Keitaro pushes himself to his feet, shaking off her hit almost like nothing happened. Kneeling with his hands in front of him, he says "Wait a minute! We can talk about this, can't we?"

"That…That is totally unacceptable! This is a girl's reformatory! Bad enough we are forced to reside here by the courts, but I refuse to be administered by a male! At least Granny Hina provided a respectful presence. Despite the fact he is a University student, Urashima it completely lacking in the necessary maturity and composure to administrate this facility." Motoko complains as she stands and grabs her wooden boken.

"Haruka! What about Granny! She always takes care of us and makes sure we don't get into trouble. How do ya'll expect Keitaro-san to be able to do that? He ain't Granny!" Kitsune sputters, rising to stand next to Naru, her untouched glass of sake still in her hand.

Su leaps over to the kneeling Keitaro, her wooden mallet held behind her. "Keitaros, can I asks you a question? Why ain't ya unconscious or dead or something?" Bringing the mallet in front of her, she continues "I whacked ya like a bad mule, but you gots right up."

Distracted by Su's observation, the others pause. Keitaro, his hand rubbing the back of his neck, smiles slightly. "I don't really know, Su-chan. Just lucky, I guess."

Haruka adjusts her cigarette holder; "Granny decided to ask Kei to be the manager. The court has already agreed he can have the position, seeing as this facility still belongs to our family. And Keitaro has agreed to take the position."

Motoko sits, but still looks furious. "I still say that a girls' reformatory cannot be administered by a male! It just is not proper! What would the general public say?"

"Yeah. We have our reputations to consider. What do ya'll think people are gonna say if Keitaro-san stays here?" Kitsune asks, scratching her chin.

"I likes Keitaros! He gots my vote to stay!" Su says as she cartwheels around the common room.

Naru fumes. _(This guy walks in and just like that, he's the new manager? I don't care if he is Haruka's nephew and Granny's grandson, he's got trouble written all over him!)_. Balling her fist, she stands in front of Keitaro and stares down at him. "The last thing I need is for people to spread false rumors about me! And having a man here, especially one who peeks in on naked girls, is bound to cause us grief!"

"Please, just give me a chance! I.." Keitaro starts to say, putting his hands up, where he accidentally gets a handful of Naru's left breast as she leans over him.

"You pervert!" Naru rear back and punches Keitaro, sending him crashing through the wall and out into the courtyard. Spinning to Haruka, "You see? Your nephew or not, how can you expect us to live with someone like that around all the time? Just let him go back to that Nora of his and leave us in peace. Granny can manage the place."

"No, she can't. Granny left today to go overseas. I have no idea when I'll hear from her next. You're stuck with Keitaro. So, I suggest you get used to it, and try to rein in your tempers. As manager, he IS required to report any misconduct on your parts to the courts. And I'd classify 'attempted grievous bodily harm' as misconduct." Haruka tells them.

Su, who already accepts the idea of Keitaro being their new manager, sits on the back of the couch and watches the test of wills. The four older females spend an anxious minute staring at each other, until the other tenants back down.

Poking his head tentatively into the door, Keitaro asks "I'm so sorry, Narusegawa-san! It was an accident. Please, uh, can I come back in?"

Trying hard to keep from getting angry again, Naru takes a deep breath. "Oh, alright! Since we don't have much choice, I guess we have to."

Walking back to the girls, Keitaro bows. "I'm really sorry. Please forgive me."

Su jumps up; "I forgives ya, Keitaros! Course, ya didn't try ta seduce me, so I can'ts really complain. Does seduce taste good?"

Kitsune steps over and pats him on the back. "Ya'll just try to be more careful, okay Keitaro-san?" She give him a wink and a smile "Now, if you ever WANT to 'accidentally' grab someone, just come on up to my room and knock. The secret password is 'Hey, Kitsune, Ah brought you a bottle of sake'. That'll get ya in every time." A drop of blood trickles from Keitaro's nose as he backs away.

Motoko still holds her training sword in her hand and points it at Keitaro. "Whatever the conditions that brought you here, Urashima, understand that I will not allow you to slake your lust upon us, misconduct or not. I advise you to watch your step."

Haruka stands and wipes her hands on her apron. "Well, now that that's settled, I suggest you all continue with your normal routines. Just go on as if Granny were still here. If you need anything, just ask Keitaro. He's been briefed and has all the documents he needs to manage the place." Turning to Keitaro, "Call me if things get out of hand, or if something comes up you don't understand. My numbers are inside the cover of the personnel folder I gave you."

"Thanks, Haruka. I promise I won't bother you too much." Keitaro says, smiling warmly for his aunt.

"Just be sure you do call if you really need to. Don't let this delinquents take advantage of you." She answers, sweeping her glaze around the room with a smile to take the sting out of her words. "They're really good kids at heart, just rough around the edges." Haruka waves and leaves them to return to the Tea Shop.

A few awkward moments pass, as Keitaro looks around at the girls staring at him. Remembering something, his face brightens. "Oh, uh, there's something I want you all to have. Consider it a peace offering. Could you just sit here and wait for a minute, please?"

Naru looks at him "What the hell are you planning? This had better not be a fucking joke!" she responds angrily.

His smile dropping slightly, Keitaro answers "N-no, no joke. I picked up some things while I was out for all of you. Just please wait here. Okay?"

When there are no more objections, Keitaro excuses himself and heads for the kitchen.

Motoko, sitting on the couch, places her boken on her knees. "Have you any idea what Urashima is talking about, Naru?" she asks, her face reflecting the confusion all the girls feel.

"Nope. That jackass has me as clueless as the rest of you." Naru says.

Kitsune remarks "Ya'll think Keitaro-san is for real? How can he act so normal after everything we've put him through?"

"He's invincible, that's why!" Su says, laying across the back of the couch. "I wonders how he does it?" Su ponders various ways to test Keitaro.

The door to the kitchen opens, and Keitaro backs through. Turning, the girls see his arms struggling with a large box. Setting it on the coffee table, Keitaro stops for a moment with hi hands on the box.

"I found these in the cabinets earlier, and I thought it was a shame they weren't being used." Keitaro opens the box and takes out a smaller box. Turning to Naru, he bows and presents it to her, repeating the gesture for the others.

"Please, open them." Keitaro say.

Inside, the girls find tea sets, a tin of fresh tea leaves, and an electric hot pot. Rubbing his head, Keitaro says "You all seemed to enjoy the tea earlier, and I noticed you only had instant tea bags in the cabinets. I thought that, well, that maybe you'd appreciate being able to have a cup of fresh tea whenever you want, or maybe to share with each other."

The girls stare at the tea sets and at their new manager.

"Is this a bribe to try and win our confidence, Urashima?" Motoko insinuates.

His shoulders visibly slumping, Keitaro shakes his head. "No. I..I thought you'd appreciate these to have for yourself. You don't have to accept them if I've offended you." Keitaro grits his teeth and bites back a stronger retort. _(What are their problems? I apologize to them, cover for them, cook for them, and try to make up by giving them these tea sets. Is nothing I do ever going to be enough to please them?)_

Seeing that Keitaro is honest in his reasons, Motoko realizes she has offended him when all he was doing was making an effort to be nice to them. Setting her box on the coffee table, she bows slightly to him. "Forgive me, Urashima, if I have misinterpreted your gesture." Looking at the others, she continues "To be truthful, we are not accustomed to being treated with such kindness by total strangers. People tend to react to where we live first rather than to who we are. I…I am pleased to accept this gift from you, Urashima."

Keitaro smiles, "Please, you don't have to apologize, Aoyama-san. I am a stranger to you all. You are right to be protective." _(Do people around here really treat them badly? Maybe I can do something about that, ask around and correct some misconceptions.)_

Su looks up from her box "Doesn't these things come with bananas?"

Keitaro smiles. "No, but I'll try to keep plenty of bananas stocked in the kitchen. If you, any of you, have preferences for things you like just write it down and leave a note for me in the kitchen. If I can, I'll include it on my weekly shopping list."

"Ya know, maybe we are lucky to have Keitaro-san in charge. Ya'll seem to be very perceptive, and the tea set is okay with me. If ya'll wants, ya'll can come up for a cup anytime, especially if ya'll wanna join me for a night cap." Kitsune winks slyly at Keitaro, causing him to blush as he tries to sputter a reply.

"Kitsune! Don't say things like that, you'll only encourage him! Besides, if you want to have tea with him, just make some in the kitchen where it's safe." Naru says.

They gratefully accept his gifts, each girl is contemplating how they might be able to talk their new kanrinin into dropping by for tea sometime, as a gesture of goodwill, of course.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Keitaro relaxes. Looking at the clock, he decides now is a good time to take his leave. "Well, I'm glad you appreciate the tea sets. I apologize, but I have to be running along. I have to get back to my apartment. Fortunately, all the furnishings came with it, so I only have to worry about packing a few suitcases and some personal stuff. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon." He says as he rises. "Good night. I promise to do my best as your new manager."

The girls bid him a farewell and walk him to the stairs. As he starts down, he turns to wave and trips, falling and tumbling all the way to the bottom. Dumbstruck, the girls watch as Keitaro picks himself up, dusts himself off and looks up at them with an embarrassed look on his face. Waving again, he turns and rushes to the bus stop.

After standing there for a few minutes, Motoko shudders and says, as her face suddenly pales, "I have a bad feeling about this. We have forgotten about Urashima's girlfriend Nora!"

Kitsune smacks her right fist into her left palm. "Damn! We did forgot! Ya'll don't think Keitaro-san will, I mean, he wouldn't have the nerve to…."

Naru gasps at Kitsune's implication. "Shit! I wouldn't put it past that pervert to move his girlfriend in here! I mean, that slut already lives with him. Do any of you think he'll pass up the chance for free room and board for her as well?"

Su innocently adds, "Ya means we is getting a new inmate?"

Naru looks at the Fox and realizes something. "Kitsune! You'll be here when he comes tomorrow! Don't let Keitaro move her crap into the manager's office! Tell him that, tell him it's against the law for the manager to have non-relatives stay with him! Yeah, that'll work." she says. "At least, that'll buy time for the rest of us to get home and convince him that she isn't wanted around here!"

"We shall make it apparent to Urashima that his duties as our new manager do not include playing patty-cake under our noses with some floozy!" Motoko growls. "Else, he shall find justice at the end of my boken!"

The issue decided, the girls head back inside for the evening.

At the bus stop, Keitaro shivers as a chill wind seems to blow across him. "I hope I'm not coming down with a cold or something." He says to himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Love Hina – Crimes and Miss-Demeanors**

**Fanfic**

_Naru looks at the Fox and realizes something. "Kitsune! You'll be here when he comes tomorrow! Don't let Keitaro move her crap into the manager's office! Tell him that, tell him it's against the law for the manager to have non-relatives stay with him! Yeah, that'll work." she says. "At least, that'll buy time for the rest of us to get home and convince him that she isn't wanted around here!"_

"_We shall make it apparent to Urashima that his duties as our new manager do not include playing patty-cake under our noses with some floozy!" Motoko growls. "Else, he shall find justice at the end of my boken!"_

_The issue decided, the girls head back inside for the evening._

_At the bus stop, Keitaro shivers as a chill wind seems to blow across him. "I hope I'm not coming down with a cold or something." He says to himself._

**Chapter Six **

**Saturday, just after noon**

Keitaro arrives by taxi at the Tea Shop with his luggage and some boxes. He thanks the driver as he unloads the items and puts them at the back entrance. Removing the backpack with Noraneko in it, he holds it in his hand as he steps inside to talk with Haruka.

His aunt sees him, and waves him to a table until she finishes serving a customer. Bringing two cups of tea over, she sits. "You're here a bit late, Keitaro. I thought you'd have been here this morning."

Rubbing his head, he says "Well, that was the plan. But I totally forgot yesterday that I deliver for mom and dad in the mornings. With me accepting the job as manager here, I had to tell them I can't deliver for them anymore."

"That couldn't have been pretty. How'd they take it?" Haruka asks with some concern.

Keitaro smiles. "Actually, it went pretty good. Mom and Dad were worried I was stretching myself too thin, delivering in the mornings, and then trying to study at prep school all day. Mom said it'll be easier on me living at the same place I work, and not to worry, since they can always find people willing to earn a little extra money delivering baked goods."

Naru, coming back from her Saturday morning class, hears Keitaro's voice in the Tea Shop. Quietly, she steps near the window and listens to the conversation.

Haruka, relieved on the inside, takes another puff of her cigarette. "Well, that's good to hear." Realizing something Keitaro said, Haruka looks at his face and asks "Did you say prep-school just now?"

Blushing, Keitaro bows his head. "Yeah. I meant to talk to you about that today. I haven't been IN Tokyo University for two years. I've been TRYING to get in for two years. I kinda figured you got your information mixed up when you told the girls I'm a university student."

Naru stiffens when she hears Keitaro's admission. _(Huh? He's only in prep school? What the fuck?) _

Keitaro tells Haruka "I guess I should tell the girls as soon as I go up. I hate the thought of lying to them."

"I don't know, Kei. You had a hard enough time yesterday. If you walk up there and tell them you aren't in University, they're liable to go postal on you. That's one of the reasons they agreed to accept you as manager." Haruka says, thinking of the consequences of her inadvertent lie about Keitaro's student status.

"But I can't lie to them, Haruka." Keitaro insists.

Thinking for a second, Haruka claps her hands. "Tell you what. You study real hard and make it into Tokyo University this year. Then, it won't be a lie anymore, will it."

Keitaro shakes his head. "I guess. Still, I don't know, a lie is still a lie."

Haruka places her hand on Keitaro's arm. "Look. Sometimes you just have to let people believe what they will. And in this case, silence is the better part of valor. Those girls won't forgive you if you come out and tell them it was a lie, even if you weren't the one at fault leading them on like that."

Naru silently scurries away from the window and rushes up to her room in the reformatory. Finding the last practice results from her prep school, she scans the list and finds Keitaro Urashima's name twenty-seventh from the bottom. "I thought something was familiar about that asshole. It's him! The idiot that ran me down in the hallway yesterday! He's a pervert, a peeping tom, a two-time ronin and a liar! I've got him just where I want him! He won't get away with anything around here if I can help it. We'll have Granny back in charge in no time, and Mr. 'Please enjoy the tea sets' will be out on his ass!" Naru rubs her hands together as she contemplates the best way to use this information to her full advantage.

Back at the Tea House, Keitaro tells Haruka "I noticed in the papers you gave me that there is a budget for staff but it isn't funded. Did Granny ever plan on hiring any before?"

Haruka thinks for a moment. "Now that you mention it, she had thought about hiring a cook and a house keeper. But, as the girls had become used to fending for themselves with instant meals and frozen dinners, and kept the place relatively clean and livable, Granny didn't want to bother with hiring and training a cook and a 'domestic servant' as she called it. So she never tried to fill the positions."

Keitaro sits back and scratches his head.

Haruka, seeing the look in his eyes, reminds him, "There're no funds for a cook or housekeeper, Keitaro. How would you pay for them?"

"Hmmm." Thinking for a few minutes, his face brightens. "You know, since I have free room and board, I don't need all the money the manager's position pays. Can we decrease my pay and use the balance to hire someone ourselves?" Keitaro asks.

Haruka glares at him. "Look here, Keitaro. I'm fond of the girls myself, but there is no reason for you to go without just to make life easier for them. Hinata _**is**_ a reformatory, you know. And, as much as they appreciated you cooking for them yesterday, that isn't what you were selected by Granny to do. Let the girls fix their own frozen or instant meals. Easier on you, and easier to clean up after them."

Keitaro remains silent for a moment after Haruka finishes. "Still, that doesn't do anything about my lying to them. I really don't feel right about it, but what can I do?" he mutters, more to himself than to Haruka.

Neither of them notices the young girl who walks by the Tea Shop and starts timidly up the stairs to Hinata.

Shinobu Maehara slowly makes her way up the foreboding steps to the reformatory on the hill. Clutching the sketchbook left by the young man yesterday, she is determined to return it to its rightful owner, whose name she found inside the front cover.

Nearly losing her nerve and turning around to run away several times, she finally makes it to the top of the stairs and sees the Hinata-sou All-Girl Reformatory before her. Walking to the entrance, she pauses for a few minutes, and then softly knocks.

Naru, returning to the common room after changing, waits for Keitaro along with the others, relishing the power she feels she has with the knowledge that Keitaro lied about being in university. She is startled out of her contemplations of Keitaro's imminent defeat by a knock at the door. The girls walk over to open it, and see a young girl, obviously a middle school student, standing there.

Naru, having expected Keitaro along with the others, is the first to regain her composure. "W-why hello. Are you lost, little girl? No, wait, you're selling items for a bake sale for your school, right?" she says.

Su scampers around the young girl "Did you bring anythings yummy?" she yelps hopefully.

Kitsune places a hand on Su's shoulder as she casts a kind look on Shinobu. "Don't scare the poor thing, Su. Look at her, she's trembling like a lost kitten."

"What may we do for you, young miss?" Motoko politely asks as she bows to the young girl.

Shinobu, hiding the sketchbook behind her, says, "Excuse m-me, please. I'm looking for Mr. Keitaro Urashima."

The girls are struck speechless. The same thought occurs to each one of them. What female would even know to look for Keitaro here at Hinata-sou except for his girlfriend, Nora. Staring, they wonder, unbelievingly, if this very young girl is indeed her!

Motoko growls under her breath "Urashima! You dare take an underage female as your live-in girlfriend? If this is so, you shall not live to see the sunset of this day!"

Having left everything but his backpack at the Tea Shop until he talks to the girls, Keitaro reaches the top of the stairs at that moment and, seeing the residents standing in front of the entrance, calls a greeting to them. As they turn, he sees the girl whom he sketched the day before. He raises his hand to wave and call out, but before he can say anything, the cat in his backpack stretches in her sleep and accidentally claws the back of his neck. Keitaro yelps "Nora!" The cat pokes its head up at hearing its name and is spotted by Shinobu, who squeals happily and dances at the sight of the small animal.

The others fail to notice the cat, their eyes intent on the main players of the scene before them. The reformatory resident girls see it as thus:

A. Young middle school girl comes looking for Keitaro.

B. Keitaro shows up, sees the young girl, waves, and calls out 'Nora!'.

C. The young girl squeals happily and dances at the sight of Keitaro.

D. Keitaro must die!

Crickets chirp as a dog barks in the distance and thunder rumbles ominously as the sky darkens and an owl eats the entrails of a wood mouse while sitting on the peak of the kitchen annex as a vulture circles overhead.

Yep, Keitaro is boned!

Keitaro removes his backpack to better control the cat, and is at first unaware of the glares he is receiving from the reformatory residents. However, his self-preservation instincts start to kick in, albeit a little late, and he looks up half-way to the front porch. Naru and Motoko have met him half-way, and he finds himself face-to-face with them.

"Uh, is something wrong?" He asks, as a nearly-visible red glow seems to form around Naru and a similar blue one around Motoko. Over their shoulders, Kitsune stares at him with a look of utter disgust on her face.

Su looks at Shinobu and, unheard by the others intent on Keitaro's demise, says "Oh, it's you, Shinobu Maehara from class 7A, seat 23 in the seventh grade from our school!" Looking at the older girls, she grabs Shinobu's hand and drags her inside. "I thinks we better heads to the kitchen fer some bananas, looks like a storm is about to strike Keitaros, and bananas is good eatin' during storms!"

Back outside, Keitaro sets his backpack down and steps away from the girls, his hands raised protectively in front of him. As the girls stomp past the backpack, Nora leaps out and sits, looking at the back of the girls confronting Keitaro, the fur on her back starting to rise.

"Hold on a minute! I j-just got back! What's going on, I haven't done anything!" Keitaro states, becoming increasingly worried as his back comes up against the side of the building.

Naru sputters, her fist reared back to deliver a punch like she has never done before. "You perverted bastard! How the hell could Granny even have considered scum like you to be our manager?"

Motoko raises her training sword, uncaring about the damage she is contemplating doing. "Urashima! You shall never again defile pure young maidens. This is the day you meet your final justice, you vile, lecherous, deceitful, perverted bastard!"

Kitsune brandishes a knife (yep, the rubber one), but intends to smack the living daylights out of Keitaro. "You… you… you dirty, stinking, lousy, no-good two-timing piece of crap! How could you do such a thing to us?"

Realizing some terrible misunderstanding has just taken place, Keitaro also knows there is nowhere to go. Putting his hands in front of his face, he falls into his standard pattern.

He begs.

"Please forgive me!" he whispers as the combined attacks descend on him.

Screams of pain and terror rend the air outside the reformatory.

Haruka contemplates her tea as the sounds of violence echo down the hill. "Seems that the girls made the mistake of threatening Keitaro again and have met Nora." she chuckles.

After a few moments, Keitaro lowers his hands, wondering why he doesn't feel the pain of the girls' attacks. Looking up, he sees the three of them, yelling and running in desperate circles, frantically waving their hands over their heads and trying to leap from side-to-side, a small, tan blur flying from arm to leg to back to arm, again and again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Love Hina – Crimes and Miss-Demeanors**

**Fanfic **

_Realizing some terrible misunderstanding has just taken place, Keitaro also knows there is nowhere to go. Putting his hands in front of his face, he falls into his standard pattern. _

_He begs._

"_Please forgive me!" he whispers as the combined attacks descend on him. _

_Screams of pain and terror rend the air outside the reformatory._

_Haruka contemplates her tea as the sounds of violence echo down the hill. "Seems that the girls made the mistake of threatening Keitaro again and have met Nora." she chuckles._

_After a few moments, Keitaro lowers his hands, wondering why he doesn't feel the pain of the girls' attacks. Looking up, he sees the three of them, __yelling and running in desperate circles, frantically waving their hands over their heads and trying to leap from side-to-side, a small, tan blur flying from arm to leg to back to arm, again and again. _

**Chapter Seven**

**Saturday afternoon**

Keitaro stares for only a moment at the wild antics in front of him. Realizing what is happening, he leaps forward and tries to grab Nora. The little cat, enraged that these strangers would attack her servant/master/owner (take your pick, it is a cat, ya know) evades his grasp for a few seconds while she delivers her brand of 'justice'. "No, don't! Leave them alone! Stop, you'll hurt them!" Keitaro calls out, concern for the girls' safety overriding any thoughts for his own well-being.

Motoko, the cat making a last lunge at her, wildly swings her wooden bokken, missing the animal completely. However, she does connect with the side of Keitaro's head, knocking the young man out as he manages to finally get a hold of the furry ball of terror.

Keitaro crumples to the ground, Nora in his hands. The girls, still screaming, take a few seconds to notice that they are no longer under attack and slow down enough to take in their surroundings.

Naru, her hair sticking out at wild angles, hugs her scratched hands and forearms to her chest as she pants heavily.

Kitsune, her tank-top half-shredded, sinks to her knees, grimacing at the pain from scratched arms and legs, exhausted by the ordeal.

Motoko, wincing at the painful scratches on her back and legs, stares at the unconscious manager. Flames again erupt from her eyes as she steps forward, her bokken raised over her head. "Now you'll get what you deserve, you bastard, Urashima! Perverting a pure innocent young maiden into being your live-in slut!"

And she runs screaming in terror as Nora leaps off Keitaro's chest and latches onto her shoulder and clawing her way down her back. Dropping her bokken, Motoko frantically weaves a wild path, disappearing around the side of the reformatory. A few seconds later, a muted 'splash' can be heard, and Nora comes sauntering back to the front of the building, looking as if she is smiling.

Kitsune sees the approaching feline and jumps backwards, hiding behind Naru "Sake! Ah want mah sake! Oh shit! Halp, save me!"

"Kitsune! Let go of me! Take care of yourself, I ain't your damned mother!" Naru, her movements constricted by the death-grip the Fox has on her, struggles to back away from the approaching hell-on-four-feet. She slows and stares as the cat stops at Keitaro's unconscious form and sits beside his head, licking his cheek and meowing.

Peeking out from a window, Su and the new visitor, Shinobu, stare at the outcome of the mayhem. A wet and bedraggled Motoko, her hair plastered against her face, walks from around the side of the reformatory and picks up her wooden bokken, trying to appear as dignified as the situation allows, which isn't much.

Naru, being clutched in a vice-like grip by Kitsune, is warily watching the cat beside Keitaro.

Shinobu looks at Keitaro and sees Nora. Giving a squeal, she rushes through the common room and back out the front door, the sketchbook still clasped in her hands. Su follows, grabbing a banana from the fruit tray as she passes the coffee table.

Keitaro moans and sits up, rubbing the side of his head, as Nora plants herself on his lap and stares at his three would-be assailants. "What happened? Are all of you alright?" He asks, getting his knees under him and rising, Nora held loosely in his arms.

"Wha, what the hell was that, that thing? Ah thought we was all goners!" Kitsune asks, her labored breathing starting to return to normal.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing? What stupid idea made you bring a dangerous animal like that up here?" Naru says, stepping towards Keitaro, her fists clenched. Kitsune releases her grip and backs away, not wanting to get anywhere near the cat again. Naru pauses for a moment as she sees the dark-haired young girl come out the front door with Su.

Shinobu stops and points at Keitaro. "You found my pussy!" she cries.

Naru's eyes flare red again "You dirty, two-timing pervert! How dare you screw a girl as young as that, forcing her to be your fucking girlfriend?" she exclaims as she prepares to deal Keitaro the worst punishment he's ever known. And then she starts running in circles, screaming again, as Nora leaps up from Keitaro's arms and latches into her hair. Naru frantically weaves a wild path, disappearing around the side of the reformatory. A few seconds later, a muted 'splash' can be heard, and Nora comes sauntering back to the front of the building, looking as if she is smiling.

Kitsune snickers "Now that looks awfully familiar." she says, eyeing the still bedraggled sword maiden. Motoko flashes Kitsune a 'say one more word and you shall be next' look, and turns back towards Keitaro as Shinobu runs up to him, Su beside her.

Keitaro looks at the new-comer clearly for the first time. Recognizing her as the young girl whom he sketched yesterday, he thinks he is in trouble. Again.

Shinobu bows to him "Mister Urashima, how did you find my pussy?" she asks.

Keitaro sees his sketchbook in her hand and, not paying attention, thinks she is berating him for drawing her yesterday. He bows and tells her, again "Sorry, it was just my stupid hand."

Feeling a sensation of heat behind him, Keitaro stands straight and slowly turns around. Naru, soaking wet after her trip to the hot springs, stands there, along with Motoko and Kitsune, and if looks could kill, well, someone would be raking in the cash from Keitaro's insurance policy about now.

Again, a quick recap for those just joining the show:

A. Young girl, assumed by the residents to be 'Nora', asks Keitaro how he found her pussy.

B. Keitaro blames it on his hand.

Keitaro boned, round two.

Silently, so as not to arouse the suspicion of the cat again, Motoko holds her bokken in front of her and summons her ki, a pale blue glow beginning to surround her wooden bokken, nearly causing Keitaro to lose it right there.

Naru, her lesson, learned (for now, at least) holds her hands behind her as she balls her fists in preparation for unleashing hell-on-Keitaro, a nearly-visible red aura encasing her form.

Kitsune, never one to learn quickly, steps up to Keitaro and slaps him across the cheek, the echo resounding like a gunshot. "Ya damned bastard! What the fuck are ya'll, get out of here, ya asshole! Sneaking around, screwing a . . ow, ow OW OW OWOWOWOWOW!" she screams. Nora has latched onto both her thighs, and as she desperately tries to remove the feline, Kitsune looks like someone frantically using a rabid Thigh-Master. Naru hurriedly pulls Motoko over and whispers in her ear, eliciting a nod and a handshake from the sword maiden.

Kitsune frantically weaves a wild path, disappearing around the side of the reformatory. A few seconds later, a muted 'thud', a profanity laced tirade, and then a 'splash' can be heard. A minute later, a drenched Nora comes staggering back to the front of the building, shaking her head as if to clear it. A few minutes later, as everyone waits, Kitsune comes around the corner, soaking wet and holding her head with her right hand as she continues to curse under her breath.

Su runs inside and comes back out a few seconds later, smiling and holding a five gallon, nearly-empty plastic jar with about a half-inch of loose change in the bottom, a hand-written label saying 'Curse Jar' on it.

Motoko pulls a few bills from her pocket and, unobserved by Kitsune, slips them to Naru. "How you were able to foresee that Konno-san would slam into the large boulder we both missed is beyond me?" the sword maiden whispers.

Naru smiles as she puts the money in her shirt. "I've known Kitsune since we were in junior high. She gets that way when she's totally flustered." she replies quietly.

As Kitsune walks past, the honey-haired girl leans over and says "A few more outbursts like that, and we'll have enough money in the curse jar to buy that new stereo." Kitsune mutters to the smiling girl "Just shut up. Ah don't wanna hear it, Ah don't wanna hear it!" as she pulls all the money out of her pocket and drops it into the jar Su holds. "And don't you and Motoko forget ya'lls share, you ain't been angels today either."

Naru and Motoko blush and reach into their pockets, carefully counting out money as Su stands there, ensuring they deposit the proper amount into the jar. That done, Su closes the jar, shakes it and says in a sing-song voice "We's in da monkeys, we's in da monkeys! We's gots a lots of what it makes ta gets a new stereo!"

Keitaro puts a hand out to Su, "Wait, Su-chan! Don't do that!" but it's too late.

Nora, hearing the sound of the change shaking in the jar, turns from licking the water off her fur and charges hell-bent for leather at Su, hissing and spitting like mad. Like a bullet out of a gun, Su drops the jar to the grass, claps her hands and laughs wildly, taking off for the stairs heading for Haruka's Tea House, Nora hot on her heels.

Everyone stares at the dissipating dust trail the two leave behind. As one, the girls turn towards Keitaro.

Putting his hands out, he shrugs his shoulders, "I always tied a can with coins in it to the door of my apartment to act as a cheap burglar alarm. Anytime Nora hears that sound, she reacts like someone is trying to break in and steal her stuff." he says, rubbing the back of his neck. Suddenly realizing that his 'protector' is no longer with him, Keitaro's head snaps up. "Oh heck!" He turns and runs from the girls, screaming, and Motoko unleashes on him! "Shinmei-ryu no Zanganken! God's Cry Attack of The Stone Cleaving Sword!"

Keitaro, unaware of what is about to happen, turns and looks at the sword maiden, wondering what she is talking about, just as the vortex of her ki attack sweeps him up and smashes him into the side wall of the reformatory grounds. Amazed, the girls watch as Keitaro almost immediately picks himself up and takes off running again, ducking and weaving to avoid another attack, and then disappears around the side of the building. A few seconds later, a muted 'thud', a muffled 'gack!' and then a 'splash' can be heard.

Naru looks at Motoko, then at Kitsune, then at, Shinobu, then at Motoko and Kitsune. "Wait a minute! Did he just call that furry terror Nora?" Looking back again to the young girl, she asks "Then who the heck are you?"

Sputtering under the glare of the three older girls, Shinobu whispers "M-my name i-is Shinobu Maehara. I-I was just returning th-this to Mister Urashima. H-he dropped it yesterday wh-when the elders were picking on him." She holds out Keitaro's sketchbook for them to see. "P-please don't hurt me! My mother told me I shouldn't come up here but it was so mean what the elders did I couldn't just keep it he didn't do anything wrong he just sketched me and I wasn't afraid but the elders were cruel so I told them to stop and I'm rambling, aren't I?" Shinobu whimpers, shaking like a leaf.

Kitsune steps over to the young girl, kneels in front of her and puts a hand on her shoulder "It's all right. Shinobu was it? We aren't gonna hurt ya'll. We was just having fun with Keitaro, he's our new manager. Weren't we, guys?" Kitsune says, motioning behind her back to get help calming the young girl down.

Naru stutters, "Y-yeah, that's right! We thought Nora was the name of Keitaro's bitch girlfriend and, we, uh, kinda mistook you for Nora. We should have realized you are much too nice and too young of a girl to shack up with a piece of crap like him." Shinobu shrinks away from Naru, frightened at her tone of voice and choice of words. Naru, embarrassed at having scared the young girl, bows. "Wait, I'm sorry Shinobu-chan! That came out totally wrong. I mean, he really isn't the kind of guy who'd do that. At least, I don't think he is, he only showed up yesterday, and we found out last night that he's our new manager so we really don't know that much about him and his aunt Haruka says he's not such a bad guy and he's kinda nice when he isn't being a pervert and, and now I'm rambling too, aren't I?"

Shinobu and Naru stare at each other for a few seconds, and then both girls break out in giggles. Motoko steps forward to greet the new comer, but Naru and Kitsune turn to face the young sword maiden. "Why the heck did ya'll do that to Keitaro?" Kitsune asks, her hands on her hips.

With an equally steel glare in her eye, Naru also questions Motoko. "Keitaro was already scared outta his wits! And we had already found out Shinobu-chan here isn't Nora! So, can you tell me why you attacked him?"

Motoko lowers her face, blushing as she holds her bokken behind her. "Well, truth be told, I missed out on the fun yesterday, and . . . and I did not desire to miss out again. As I was already primed to strike, i-it would have seemed a waste to abandon my attack after having prepared for it." she says, her foot tracing small circles in the grass.

Kitsune laughs, "Well, at least that's an honest answer. Ah sometimes forget ya'll do have a sense of humor. Granted, it's knocked out, tied-up, buried in a deep hole, covered with concrete, and guarded by more traps than a hunter's convention, but a sense of humor anyways."

Motoko's head comes up and she gives the Fox a haughty glare. "I shall have you know that I do not have the time for fun and games." Her look softens, "More often than not, I must wait for whatever amusement the two you chose to drop my way, meager though the leavings may be."

Kitsune's eyes open slightly "Ya mean our new manager, eh?" Motoko blushes and stares at her.

Naru snickers at the look the sword maiden gives the Fox. "Come on, Shinobu-chan, let's go inside and have some tea while we wait for Keitaro. I suppose he'll need a few hours to recover and go get some dry clothes before we see him again."

Shinobu hesitates for a moment and looks towards the corner of the inn, Keitaro's sketchbook held to her chest. "W-Will Urashima-sama be alright? Sh-shouldn't somebody see if h-he's okay? And I th-thought, that is, I h-heard no one was allowed to visit here." she asks timidly.

Motoko replies "I am sure that Urashima will be along shortly. You need not concern yourself on his behalf, Maehara-san. And, as for visitors not being allowed here, that is not true. While we are restricted to the grounds except for while attending school, or accompanying Haruka-san in procuring items for the daily running of this reformatory, it is not forbidden to have guests with the approval of the manager. As he is currently unavailable, we must assume that you, as you are returning his property to him, would be considered 'approved'.

Motoko glares in the direction that Keitaro took off in. "And, as long as any guests are female, of course. This _is_ a girls-only facility." she finishes, a slight look of anger on her face.

Shinobu looks up at the sword maiden, and then towards the corner of the reformatory where Keitaro disappeared. Kitsune sees this and taps her on the shoulder. Squeaking slightly, the dark haired young girl jumps as she turns. The Fox says "Long story. We'll tell ya'll over some lunch and tea, if anyone here can remember how to cook." Kitsune looks at Naru and Motoko, who both shake their heads.

Naru says "I put some stuff on the stove and in the oven before Shinobu-chan and Keitaro showed up, but I forgot about it with all the . . . oh heck!" The girl sprints for the door, Motoko, Kitsune and Shinobu following close behind as they all head for the kitchen.

Kitsune shudders at the thought of eating a meal prepared by Naru, especially after the comparative feast that Keitaro had made for them the evening before. The leftovers were all used up as their breakfast that morning, and tasted as good reheated in the microwave as when they were freshly made.

As they enter the dining room, they see the kitchen door already opened. Keitaro, still soaking wet, his face covered with a hot springs towel, is wrestling with pot holders to remove a smoldering, stench-ridden mass he has pulled out of the oven.

From the kitchen, a billowing, putrid blast hits the girls, the odor being of something that could vaguely be called that of 'food'; at least, if you came from a lost tribe that believes that hot, molten tar with bits of road kill and assorted limp vegetables thrown in is a delicacy. Even then, you would not rush for seconds of what sits on the stove top.

The heaving mass visible under the lip of the covered pan in Keitaro's hands causes Kitsune to grab her mouth with one hand, her stomach with the other, and head for the bathroom at a run. "We're gonna" urfgh "starve! Keitaro-san," gurg "save me!"

Shinobu steps forward, amazing Motoko and Naru with her bravery at approaching the almost semi-living, well, whatever it is Naru is attempting to cook. She peers under the lid as it moves, squeezes her eyes shut as she whispers a small prayer, and then, placing her small hands on Keitaro's arm, looks at the kanrinin. "Wait, Urashima-sama, I think I can save this. Are there any fresh vegetables?" The pan makes a gurgling sound that causes the others to back a step or two away.

Naru responds first. "I think so, yes! I'll get them."

Following Shinobu into the kitchen, they watch as she makes a quick inspection of the other items still steaming on the stove top. "I'll need some water and a large pan"

"I shall get them for you, Shinobu-chan." Motoko says.

"Urashima-sama, where do you keep your spices?"

Keitaro, having opened a window, turns, opens a cabinet and removes a rack full of bottles "All you can use, uh, Maehara-san, was it?"

"Hai, Urashima-sama. Thank you."

Shinobu starts to revive the disaster Naru had spawned. She moves from pan to pan to oven and back, adding liquid here, seasoning there, dicing and placing fresh vegetables where they would do the most good. Naru shoos the manager out "Get some dry clothes on before you catch a cold or something, baka!" Naru quickly turns back to Shinobu, regretting the harsh tone she has just taken in front of her with the new manager, especially in light of the mis-understandings he's been the victim of the last two days. But, apologizing isn't one of her strong suits, so she hides her discomfort.

Keitaro, rather than argue with the hot-tempered high-school girl, heads out the door, passing a pale Kitsune as she re-enters the kitchen. Keitaro lowers his head and mutters "excuse me, I'm sorry" and minutely jerks away from her as they pass. Kitsune catches this, and turns to watch him walk away. As the door closes she sees him raise his hand to the cheek she had struck.

Kitsune's throat tightens as she stands near the door. _(He really didn't do anything, but ya'll misjudged him again. No, be honest with yourself. It's one thing to tease him, or smack him around. Slapping his face in a fuckin' rage and calling him all sorts of names when he didn't do anything was just plain evil. Now, ya'll've got him avoiding ya like ya'll was the plague.)_

Kitsune looks down at the hand that slapped their new kanrinin. (_So, what did ya'll expect him to do, smile and give ya a big hug and a kiss on the cheek and say "Good afternoon, Kitsune, how's it going?")_

Kitsune whispers to herself "Ah wouldn't have minded that, Keitaro-san."

Naru turns her head, hearing the older girl mutter. "What was that, Kitsune?" Without another thought, she turns back to watch the young girl attempting to revive what can only be referred to as 'lunch' if you rang the Goddess Relief Agency and wished for it to be called that.

Kitsune stands there for a few minutes as she contemplates her actions. Knowing what she has to do, she slowly walks out and heads upstairs to the kanrinin's office.

Keitaro, finding that Haruka had brought up the suitcases that were dropped off earlier, breathes a sigh of thanks. Stripping out of his wet clothes, he rummages through his stuff and pulls out an old work shirt and jeans, socks, and pair of soft slippers. As he is getting dressed, there is a knock at his door panel. "Uh, just a second, I'll be right there." He says, tucking his shirt in and placing his wet clothes in a basket to take down to the laundry.

Sliding open his door, he is a bit startled to see Kitsune standing there, her hands clasped in front of her. "Uh, oh, it's you, Konno-san." he asks, backing away slightly from the door. Kitsune's face droops as she sees his reaction.

Keitaro, his compassionate side again overriding his instinct for self-preservation, reaches a hand out a little, then pulls it back. "Is there something wrong, Konno-san? Can I help you?"

Kitsune smiles, a forced, weak effort, but a smile. "Ah, well, Ah just wanted to say, uh, that . . . ." she drops her gaze to the floor and bows. "Ah'm sorry, Keitaro-san. Sorry that Ah slapped ya'll and called ya such vile names earlier. Ah was wrong. We, uh, well, all of us, came to the wrong conclusion about ya'll and Nora yesterday and today." She says, her eyes looking at the floor between them.

Keitaro, not understanding, steps back and motions for Kitsune to come in. "Uh, could you run that past me again? Nora? But, I never mentioned her yesterday. Did I?" he asks, rubbing his neck.

Kitsune looks up, trying to meet his gaze. "Well, not, not really. Haruka _'told'_ us about Nora; how she and you live together and all that. But, she never said Nora was a cat."

Keitaro, still not getting it, stares at her with a confused look on his face. Kitsune notes it _(Aw, that's so sweet! He's so naïve, he still doesn't know what Ah'm talking about.)_ Gently reaching out, Kitsune takes his right hand in her hands, but notices how he stiffens.

Maintaining her resolve, she says "Keitaro-san, we'all thought Nora was your live-in girlfriend, and when Shinobu-chan showed up, and asked for you by name, we thought she was Nora, and, well, . . ." she sighs and takes a deep breath "Ah guess you might say we were a bit surprised, and maybe a little freaked out thinking ya'll was shacking up with a middle school student." Opening her eyes wide, she looks at him. "Keitaro-san, can ya'll forgive me for treating ya like that?" she asks, hope warring with rejection in her eyes.

After staring at the Fox for what seems like forever, a light bulb, dim, about 10 watts, and in serious need of replacement, goes off in Keitaro's head. "Oh!" He is silent for a second, and then starts chuckling slightly, his mirth threatening to burst out.

Kitsune looks at him like he is about to lose his mind. "Are, are ya'll okay, Keitaro-san?"

Keitaro gathers control of himself. "Haruka loves playing games. When you think about it, it was pretty funny, in spite of everything, Konno-san." Looking her in the eye, he finishes "Don't worry about it, no harm done, and you were just acting to protect Nora, uh, Maehara-san, ha ha."

Kitsune stares at him again. She sputters "Are, are ya'll saying ya forgive me, Keitaro-san?"

Keitaro rubs the back of his neck and looks at his feet, "I-I already did, for all of you, after I fell in the hot springs. I didn't need to know that Haruka had fooled you all to figure somehow it must have been a misunderstanding. I'm just sorry Nora attacked all of you; I should have been able to hold her back." Now Keitaro bows to Kitsune. "I just hope all of you can forgive me, Konno-san."

Kitsune is surprised. "We attack ya'll, and ya'll are asking US for forgiveness?" Seconds tick by as she stares at the kanrinin. Regaining her composure, she continues "Hey, ya'll are all right, Keitaro-san. And please, like Ah said yesterday, ya'll can just call me Kitsune. Konno-san makes me sound like Ah'm my mother." She holds out her hand.

Keitaro smiles as he takes her hand, his grin reappearing and going all the way to his eyes. "I'm honored, Kitsune. And please, just call me K-Keitaro."

_(He's kinda cute when he smiles, the poor schmuck. It'll be a nice change from having to look at the others all day.)_ "Ya know, Ah don't get out of here much. Ah don't go to school, and the others never bring guests over. Ah'm happy to have a new face to look at." She says, patting him on the shoulder.

Keitaro looks compassionately at Kitsune. "I, uh, I kinda realized that after I read the folders Haruka gave me. The papers said that, except for attending school and school-related functions, work-release programs, or when buying things for general upkeep, you all aren't allowed to leave the grounds unless escorted by the manager."

Keitaro frowns sadly. "I kind of figured that since you are the only one that doesn't go to school or have a job, that you're stuck here almost all the time. I hope there's something I can do to help you get out a bit, if you will let me. As nice as the old place is, I wouldn't want to be stuck here all the time. And, I want to do my best to be the manager for everybody."

Kitsune's jaw threatens to hit the floor for the umpteenth time that day. Without having to try and wheedle some sort of deal with the new manager, Keitaro offers her, free of strings, exactly what she would have bargained almost anything for.

A tear threatens to fall from her eye as her throat tightens up again. Being treated with genuine human compassion by an almost perfect stranger for the first time she can remember in a long time is a new experience for her.

Reaching out quickly, Kitsune squeezes him in a rib-popping hug. Between his gurgled reactions, she whispers "Thank ya'll for coming here to us, Keitaro."

Surprised, Keitaro stands rigidly in place, having no idea how to respond to the, well, abundantly endowed girl hanging around his chest. A slight trickle of blood dripping from his nose, he says, "Uh, y-you're w-welcome, K-K-Kitsune."

At that moment, Naru steps into the room, looking for her friend. Seeing the two together, she reacts without thinking. "Keitaro-san! What the hell are you doing to Kitsune, you pervert?" Naru launches herself into the room and lands a spinning round-house kick to Keitaro's head, dislodging him from Kitsune's grasp. Keitaro soars through the open panels at the window, flips over the rail, and falls flat on his back onto the ground below. He rubs his head as he sits up, and looks at the window he just came out of, wondering (1) what the heck is wrong with that Naru, (2) how soft Kitsune felt, (3) how come he didn't break anything, (4) how soft Kitsune felt, let alone (5) why isn't he dead after a two-story fall like that. Realizing just how far he fell, he flops back to the ground, his glasses lying crooked across his nose, a trickle of blood still oozing from his nostrils.

Standing at the window, the two girls watch as Keitaro goes through his five-count. Kitsune turns to Naru, a bemused look on her blushing face. "What were ya'll thinking, launching Keitaro out the window like that? There wasn't anything going on! Ah was just apologizing to him for what happened earlier."

Naru, still looking at the young man as he gets up, dusts himself off and walks back inside, registers what Kitsune says without moving. In a small voice, she whispers "I'm sorry." And then, remembering what had happened earlier she spins around, fearfully expecting Nora to leap on her again. Not seeing the fur-ball of Hades, she relaxes.

Kitsune sees the look her face and giggles. "Ah guess it's a good thing Nora wasn't here to see ya'll do that to Keitaro . . again." Kitsune rubs her chin. " . . hmmm, Ah wonder just how much Ah can get away with on Keitaro before Ah trigger Nora's defensive reflex?" she says, winking slyly at Naru. "Ah mean, he is kinda cute, and Ah don't get outta here much."

"Eeww! Get your mind out of the gutter, Kitsune! Why would anyone want to do anything with that baka? He's perverted, idiotic, and he's only here because he's Granny's relative." Naru sputters.

Kitsune laughs, "Don't get yer knickers in a twist. Ah was just thinking out loud. Ya'll know me."

"Well, then," Naru continues, "I only came up her to let the two of you know that Shinobu-chan is insisting that she finish preparing lunch to make up for the misunderstanding her showing up caused. Motoko said she is going to stay in the kitchen in case she needs help getting anything else. Shinobu-chan says everything should be ready in about half an hour." Looking back at the window, she continues "I think we'd better get out of that baka's room before he gets back."

Naru heads for the door, reaching out to slide it open just as Keitaro opens the door. Their hands touch, and for a moment, Naru feels a shock go through her. Keitaro, seeing the violent girl in front of him again, freezes like a deer in headlights.

Naru jerks her hand back and stares at Keitaro. The young man backs up a step and moves out of her way, while avoiding eye contact. Naru, unsure whether to apologize or not, avoids his face as well as she says, "Lunch'll be ready in half an hour. Don't make us wait for you!" Grabbing Kitsune's hand, she drags to older girl out, and their footsteps fade away as she stomps down the stairs.

Rubbing his neck, Keitaro mutters "If the last two days are any indication, then there's no way I'd ever want to keep any of those girls waiting for anything if I want to survive! And I thought I was going to be the one in charge around here." Changing his shirt again, he looks at the window and shudders. "I definitely don't want to go through this every day!" Rather than tempt fate, Keitaro sets his clock to ring in twenty five minutes, and starts unpacking his things. Looking around, he wonders _(Where's Nora at? I hope Su-chan was able to avoid her until she calms down.)_


End file.
